I have mentioned I am not a football fan. However, when you live in Washington and the Seattle Seahawks are in the Supper Bowl, not watching can get you run out of the state; so we went to a Super Bowl party on Sunday.
In addition to watching the game, I was watching the dozen other folks at our two-room gathering. I watched the men go crazy, urging the Hawks on and celebrating when they made a good play. One fellow in the other room came running and jumping into our room each time the Hawks scored. I have known most of these men for a year or more, and I have never seen any of them show as much emotion as they showed on Sunday. Had the game not gone well for our side I would have seen just as much emotion – of another sort.
Clearly men are able to show emotion – when it is socially acceptable.
It is easy to say, “Just get over it” but control of emotions has been engrained in us for our entire lives. Most of us were told, “big boys don’t cry” from a very young age. During our school years, many emotions were seen as a sign of weakness, and showing those emotions got you teased – or worse. It was not just other guys who were doing the teasing, plenty of girls joined in. I suspect this is similar to body image for women; even if we decide it is wrong and we should not follow what society tells us, we still struggle with the issue.
If you want to help your hubby with this, be wise about it. Telling him how awesome it is he is not afraid to cry while he is crying may be a bad plan. If he is already feeling exposed, pointing it out will just make it worse. It is much better to tell him you find his willingness to show emotion attractive when he is not crying. If you really want to make an impact, tell him that and then seduce him!
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I worry what others will think of me if they see me shed a tear.
Last week’s survey, for which we would like more data, was Sex: How often? The anonymous survey asked how often you have sex, and how often you would like to have sex.
This week’s survey, Married Masturbation, is an updated rerun of one of our most popular 2012 surveys. The anonymous survey asks married folks if they masturbate, and what they think of those who do.