Spell it Out for Him

March 17, 2014

in Uncategorized

Women are far more intuitive than men, especially with other women. Growing up most girls spend far more time with other females, so female intuitiveness becomes the norm. When they connect with a man, they expect him to function like their female friends. It is a natural assumption to make, but it leads to confusion, hard feelings, and relational problems.

Your husband is not dense or stupid; he is male. He is not being rude or inconsiderate; he is being a guy. He does not pick-up on subtle hints like your gal-friends because God did not create him to do so. He is not defective, just different. 

Hints © Stuart Miles | freedigitalphotos.net

Expecting him to change in this area is a bad plan because his brain has less real estate devoted to being intuitive. Wanting him to read you as other woman is like him wanting you to be able to lift heavy objects with ease.

Stop giving him hints and clues. Spell things out as clearly as possible. He cannot respond to your desires, needs, and moods if he is unaware of them!

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Image Credit: © Stuart Miles | freedigitalphotos.net

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Bethany March 18, 2014 at 8:04 am

I am a huge fan of this approach, and generally am super direct with my husband, which he has often said he appreciates. A question for you: sometimes I feel like when I do this, particularly when I remind him of things that have genuinely slipped his mind, I am nagging. Any ideas on how to balance letting husbands respond to our needs, and up and telling them everything right away?

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Paul Byerly March 18, 2014 at 4:47 pm

Lori often starts with “I know you are busy…” or “Has it slipped your mind…” or “Have you found time to…”
By showing concern for my time or that I have good intentions she makes it easier.

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