Appreciation for Chores

April 30, 2014

in Uncategorized

This follows up on Monday’s Why He Puts Others Ahead of You. The comments below were left by women in response to the Generous Husband post Charity and Love Begin at Home.

“One of the things that I believe happens here is that the person we help expresses gratitude for the help; where “chores” around the house and other things for our mate typically do not receive the same level of appreciation. We do what we feel gets appreciated and fail to love in the little things. I too am often guilty but I am trying to be faithful in the little things to show my wife I love her and she can trust things will be done and done on time.

I believe each spouse expressing gratitude to the other on a regular basis can really help in this area.”

and

Sometimes I have done worse than not voicing appreciation: I have complained that something wasn’t done “right.” I would bet some husbands put other tasks ahead of those at home as a way of escaping a complaining, nagging wife.

Dishwasher © franky242 | freedigitalphotos.net

Both of these are spot on. The second one is huge in some marriages. I had one man tell me he would never again empty the dishwasher because every time he did it his wife [griped] at him for doing it wrong. I have had other men say the same thing about how they fold sheets or towels or where they put things when they “help out”.

I suspect most of these men would have been open to “Thank you so much. If you think of it next time could you…” What put them off was a total lack of appreciation and being told they did it wrong. We should do things for our wives because we love them, but wanting to be appreciated is not wrong.

~ Paul – I’m XY and I have no idea how to fold a fitted sheet right.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Bonny April 30, 2014 at 1:12 pm

I decided that I would rather have help around the house rather than no help at all. If I complained, I realized I would have no help at all. So, I lowered my expectations. Does it really matter if the spoons are stacked neatly in the silverware drawer? I think not.
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Richard May 7, 2014 at 6:43 pm

I am an odd husband- I am an IT guy and work from home. I do most of the housework and I still don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet!

I roll them!

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Paul Byerly May 8, 2014 at 10:10 am

Clealry something on the Y chromosome makes it impossible for us to do this.
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