Double Standards

May 7, 2014

in Uncategorized

Doing this blog has been eye opening for me in many ways. One of those has come from trying to find images. I use two photo sites, one free and one paid. A large number of photographers contribute the images on both.

Often when I am looking for an image, I see plenty of good images of men doing or showing what I want. Images of women doing/showing the same tends to show women who are angry, ditzy, or sluty mostly naked. Even though the number of images of women is usually greater than of men, finding a decent image is often a challenge.

Angry? © anankkml |

I doubt this comes as news to any of the women reading this. You know an angry man gets results, while an angry woman is dismissed as hormonal. A man standing up for himself is applauded, while a woman doing the same is called a female dog – or worse. You know showing any hint of emotion invalidates everything you have said or done, or say and do for the foreseeable future. 

I am so very sorry.

I know men get a raw deal from some women. I know we are shown as buffoons and idiots on TV. We are treated badly, but not nearly as much as women do.

I cannot say all this is a new revelation for me, but doing this blog has made me more aware of it, and just how pervasive it is. Because I swim in the culture, I was not as aware as I should have been of the extent of the problem. Your husband is no doubt the same way. I do not know how you can open his eyes without being accused of PMS. I suspect this is one of those places where the victim can do little to bring about change.

Please know I am committed to opening the eyes of other men.

~ Paul – I’m XY and I can learn new tricks!

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Dr Richard Norris May 7, 2014 at 1:52 am

Amen Paul!

We are on a similar Journey to awaken me to their God-given responsibilities and gifts.
Dr Richard Norris recently posted…A Piece Of AdviceMy Profile


Paul Byerly May 7, 2014 at 10:21 am

I wonder if changing countries/cultures helped you see some of this? Granted it is not a massive change, but I would still expect it to show you some things you never saw before.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Double StandardsMy Profile


Anon. May 7, 2014 at 2:12 am

Thank you. I’ve tried to explain how hurtful it is as a woman to live in the culture we have now but my husband doesn’t seem to understand and he probably couldn’t. One time I was frustrated trying to explain a woman’s perspective (don’t remember the exact issue but probably on how a woman was being portrayed or the sexualization or objectification or expectations of women in general) and he didn’t see my point. My response (unfortunately in frustration) “Exactly what slave owners used to say when the slave complained. Of course the person in power and living unhurt wouldn’t see a problem with how things are or want things to change.”

Please encourage Christian men-all are husbands, sons, brothers, fathers, or uncles of women and unfortunately in our culture more importantly consumers–to know we need your help and support. Protect and cherish women. All women. Even those putting themselves out there in ungodly ways. Please do not use, demean and consume us. Please.

If you would not feel comfortable or would laugh at a picture or portrayal if a man was substituted for a woman chances are it is hurtful to the women in your life and is definitely adding to the problem rather than taking a step in a better direction. If she says it isn’t hurtful or she’s ok with it she’s so used to the crap she can’t see or expect better or she gave up on this world being a better place a long time ago.


Paul Byerly May 7, 2014 at 10:19 am

The slave analogy is good, but freedom did not solve the issue. A decade ago I came into relationship with some “minority culture” men who patiently and loving taught me about their reality of living in this country. As part of the “majority culture”, I was blind to things they deal with daily. Once I learned to see it, I was shocked by how prevalent it was.

As a man in the States I am part of the “majority gender” even though there are more women than men. As I have applied what I learned about different races to genders, I have been amazed and offended. Sure men get some bad stuff, but it is nothing like what women are subjected to by our culture.

Fortunately there are some men who have opened their eyes. I pray more will follow.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Double StandardsMy Profile


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