Watching the Love and Respect DVDs has given me words to voice things I knew but could not explain.
The “women’s liberation movement” (as it was called when I was young) was all about “equal rights for women.” Emerson suggested men did not relate to this well because they see responsibilities, not rights.
- I have the responsibility to die for women and children. Most men feel this, but none sees it as a right.
- I have a responsibility to protect my family, and those who cannot protect themselves. Not a right, a responsibility.
- I have the responsibility to earn a living for my family. Again, it is not a right.
I have never heard a man talk about his right to die defending his country. Nor do men talk about the right to cut wood for winter heating, shovel snow, or change the oil in the car. We enjoy some of these, but they are still not rights, they are our responsibility. This is how men think. This is how God made us to think and act.
Of course, we do now see a “men’s rights movement”, and many in the manosphere yell about their “rights”. I think this is a reaction to the fact responsibility, honour, and respect a no longer valued as they once were. Our cultural values have been trashed, and attempts to deal with that can get ugly.
Your husband sees much of what he does as his responsibility. If you understand that and treat him accordingly, he will feel respected and honoured. He will respond by being loving and giving.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and the time I pushed my wife out of the way of a car meant more to me than it did to her.