Is It Okay for Him to Have a Need You Don’t Have?

July 14, 2014

in Uncategorized

This, and “Is it okay for her to have a need you don’t have”, were a common theme in the Love and Respect DVD’s. It is an excellent question, and it can cut deep.

We have different needs for a variety of reasons including our personalities, experiences, and gender. We have different thoughts, feelings, desire, and needs. Some, especially those rooted in gender, are so different we find them difficult to grasp, much less understand.

He Loves Golf © thaikrit |

So, is it okay with you for him to have a need you do not have? Is it okay for him to want some things more than you want them, while wanting others less than you do?

Intellectually we say, “Of course that’s okay”. The question then is do we act as if it is okay? Do we respect and honour his needs even when we do not share or understand them? When our desires conflict, do we sometimes sacrifice and go with what he wants?

And yes, Emerson did ask the ladies this question when he was discussing sex!

~ Paul – I’m XY, but I haven’t golfed in over 40 years!

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Dan July 16, 2014 at 9:42 pm

Habit 5 of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was “Seek first to understand, the to be understood.” That book needs to be rediscovered. I buy copies of it at library book sales for 1 or 2 dollars and give them away. Everything in it is biblically-based and of timeless value. It’s a shame that it has been neglected as a teaching tool for an effective life.
Dan recently posted…A Romantic Gift for Him: Gift 2My Profile


Paul Byerly July 17, 2014 at 1:05 pm

No argument from me – great book!
Paul Byerly recently posted…Who Does Your Wife Say You Are?My Profile


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