Men have a habit of “protecting” their wives from truth they feel she cannot handle. I have had men tell me this straight out – “She could not handle it, so I keep it from her.” Sure, some of these men are hiding their own sins or failings, but this is not always the case. Men keep things from their wives out of love, or at least they see it as love.
One common scenario is not telling her how bad their financial situation has become. Hiding past due notices, secretly paying bills with credit cards, or not mentioning the bank could foreclose on their home in the near future. They may also hide disturbing information about the kids, or their own medical problems.
Before you judge him too harshly, don’t you protect your kids from certain information you feel they could not handle, or should not have to handle? I am not saying you are a child or should be treated as one; I am merely trying to help you understand how doing this out of love might look. His motivation may be good; it is his understanding of your limits that is wrong.
Have you ever overreacted to bad news? Do you get depressed or worry endlessly? These could be reasons your husband has decided you cannot handle some truths. Are there certain things you would rather not know about? If he is aware of this, he might withhold things to make your life less troubled.
If your husband withholds bad news from you, consider he might be acting out of misguided love. If you approach him with this understanding, it will be easier to discuss the issue.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I have learned my wife can handle things just fine
Gaye over at Calm. Healthy. Sexy. has two posts about what she is calling “Parents’ Night”. It’s a brilliant idea, check it out!