“Wow! This post is a shocker–in a good way! I always pictured you as much younger with a sexy, thin body–and I would think, “Well, of course she says “Be naked for your guy–he likes to look at you,” because I figured you had a “Barbie” figure! … Thanks for being so real for us!! You are both a beautiful couple, by the way!! I hope I didn’t offend you in any way!” (Used anonymously with permission)
Lori and I are who we are. We’re in our 50’s, were ordinary looking, and we struggle with our weight. We are not the beautiful couple poster children. Nor do we want to be.
Our society tells us how we look and how much money we make determines our happiness and success. Being a happy couple requires a solid income. Having a good sex life requires being young and beautiful.
These are lies!
Lori talks to her readers about getting naked because she understands men want to see their wives naked. She also understands men are not nearly as hung up on physical looks as women think they are. What makes my wife sexy to me is my love for her. I want to see her naked. Her body, as it is, is the vessel holding the woman I love. I like how her body looks because she is inside it. When I look at her outside, I am seeing the woman inside, and she is so beautiful.
Your husband is the same way. Even if he struggles to keep his eyes from following the young half-naked waitress. Even if he struggles with porn. Temptations of the eye are just that. They say nothing about his desire to be with you, the woman he loves.
I know Lori would like to weigh less. She might like to change some of how she looks. She struggles with this just as you do, because she is immersed in a messed up society with ungodly values. I have worked to balance this by telling her the truth. I tell her she is beautiful because she is. I tell her she is sexy because she is. When she told me I was wrong, I kept telling her. Eventually she started to believe me.
Have you ever argued with your husband when he gave you a compliment? Most men are not as stubborn as I was; argue with them often enough and they will stop telling you the truth. That does not mean he agrees with your opinion of yourself, it just means he is tired of arguing about it. If he is still telling you the truth about yourself, thank him. If he has stopped, try to remember his words.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I see my beautiful wife more clearly than she sees herself.