In tomorrow’s Generous Husband post, I warn men about being too content. I know some men are never content, even when they should be. Other men can be seemingly content in situations where they should be fighting for change. How can a man sit and do nothing in a horrible situation? How can he be content when his kids are unhappy and his wife is miserable? How can he not care?
This is not really contentment. It is a lack of will. It is being too tired and beat down to care, much less do anything about problems. It happens when a man has given up. He has tried and failed so many times he is broken. Trying again must mean failing again, and who needs that? So, he stops trying. He may do the very minimum required and he may not even do that much.
Such a man is dead inside. Often he cannot even be made angry because he just does not care and there is no point. He lives out his life on automatic, never making waves, never taking risks. He may have a secret hope or plan. Maybe he thinks his wife or his marriage is the problem, and he dreams of leaving and starting over. Maybe he is staying for the children. Maybe he is biding his time. He might also just be done, with no hope, and no plan for the future. I wish I knew how to inspire a man who has reached this state, but I do not. He is dead, and he needs a resurrection. I know God is able, but if the man is not willing, nothing will happen.
I bring up this to warn you. Look for the signs of giving up in your husband before it is too late. If he is dying inside, something must change ASAP. He needs to become involved in something he enjoys, something that brings him life. He needs to feel he has a greater purpose in life, a destiny. He needs adventure.
If your husband is dying inside, time if critical. Wait and it will be too late, meaning it is effectively impossible to reach him. If he has lost his passion, he is in great danger. If he has stopped complaining about something in your marriage which has not changed, he may be giving up. Do not see his backing off as a good thing, because it probably is not. Unless you know he has backed off because he is becoming more mature, his change is likely a danger sign.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I don’t want to see anyone give up!