“Bored men do stupid things, and there is a good chance their penis will be involved.“
I said that to Lori the other day (yes, we talk shop all the time) and she laughed because she said it was so true.
One common non-sexual reason men use porn is boredom. Not sexual boredom, just boredom. Looking for something exciting (because of boredom) is also a common factor in adultery. In both these cases, the real goal is not sex; the goal is to feel alive, to be excited, and to have an adventure. The hormones and brain chemicals released during sex, along with the parts of the brain activated, makes sex an effective way to feel a thrill.
I am not saying this to justify anything. This is an explanation and a warning. Boredom is a dangerous thing, for both men and women. Boredom can lead to people doing stupid things. Because of their strong sex drive, bored men are more likely to do stupid sexual things.
If your husband has sinned sexually, ask yourself if he might have been acting out of boredom. It does not change what he did, but it might help you understand why it really was not about you.
~ Paul – I’m XY, but almost never bored.