Have you had the battle of the toilet seat in your marriage? He refuses to lower it when he is done, or he leaves it down and leaves a mess. He says, “If you want it down, put it down. I don’t expect you to put up it when you’re done, do I?”
I lived with others guys for a while before I got married, and the toilet seat spent most of the time up. It was more convenient, end of story. So yes, you are asking him to do extra work for you. I’m not saying your request is unreasonable, just showing you it is extra work. You could also be asking him to change a long-standing habit, which can be annoyingly difficult. When he leaves it up, he may not have thought about it. It is not an intentional slight, it is an oversight. Not rude, just habit.
I’d suggest asking him to lower the seat as a favour to you. This tells him you understand it is something extra he does just for you, taking the fight out of it. If he gets it right even occasionally, thank him. This will re-enforce it being a loving thing he does for you.
~ Paul – I’m XY and I’ve been potty seat trained.