I don’t think most women have any idea how constant and annoying a man’s sex drive can be for him. I realise explaining this to women is like trying to explain labour to men, but I am going to take my best shot.
Imagine you really need to pee. As in being in pain and about to embarrass yourself gotta pee. What men feel when they really need to climax is nowhere as strong as that, but it is a good analogy.
Now dial that back to you need a restroom soon, but you are not yet in distress. It is always there, in the back of your mind, and it will not go away until you take care of it. Many men spend much of their time in a place like this with sexually. They get to the point where sex once is not enough to fully make the feeling go away. So, while sex helps, it does not end the awareness.
Now imagine you’re taking a long car trip with your husband and you say “I could use a restroom soon”. He just keeps driving, passing rest-stops, filling-stations, and towns. So, you tell him you need the next restroom he sees. When he flies past the next restroom, you complain. He responds by saying you go to the restroom too often. You need to learn to hold it better, or drink less.
Again, this is not perfect, but it is a good analogy of what many men experience when they try to communicate their need for sex.
At this point some of you are upset men reduce sex to a need for release. I assure you no man wants it to be this way! It is far better to want sex because you feel close and loving. We’d much rather desire sex because we desire you. Thing is, that can only happen when a man has sex often enough to not feel a pressing need for release.
He has no more control over his body letting him know it is time than you have over feeling your bladder is full. Neither can he ignore his body on this. He can and should choose to be loving about it, but he is going to feel the growing urgency regardless of how understanding or rude he is about his need.
Bottom Line: If you want him to want you for the non-physical reasons, you have to help him get past his body’s regular desire for release.
By the way:I’ve talked to a few men who do not experience what I have described here, but it is a very small minority. It is particularity difficult for men in their teens and twenties as the need for release is stronger and happens more quickly after he has a climax. As a man ages the intensity of this need drops, and it take longer for it to happen, but most men continue to experience this past retirement age.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and when she need to go, I stop!
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