Do you feel your husband lives by the motto above? (If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. ~ W.C Fields)
Let me share a secret with you – women are not the only ones haunted by rigid gender expectations. Men are expected to know how to do a great many things for no other reason than their gonads are outside their body. We should be able to fix anything mechanical. We are supposed to be good with animals (including killing bugs). We should be able to take any words thrown at us without having our feeling hurts, and we are supposed to be ready and able to have sex anytime, anywhere. I could go on, but you get the idea.
What does a man do when he thinks he is expected to know how to do something, or deal with something, and he does not? He can either admit he is a total failure as a man, or he make things up, pretend, or ignore the situation.
I realise there is a third, better alternative. What I want you to realise is some men honestly do not see any other choices. Perhaps this explains some of what your husband does. Or does not do.
Have you bought into any of the things men are supposed to know or be? Might you unintentionally be making the situation worse for your husband?
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I am learning to say “I don’t know how to do that.”
Can you help? Bonny over at Pearl’s OysterBed has a survey for low libido women. It would be a big help to her, and the women she serves, if you took a few minutes to complete the survey – if you qualify. Thanks!