My Mostly Silent Partner

January 12, 2015

in Uncategorized

I need to take a moment to thank my wonderful wife, Lori, for all her help on this blog. You don’t see much from her other than the occasional comment, but her cute little fingerprints are all over the XY code.

Paul & Lori © Forest Byerly

I’ve written to men for more than twelve years now, and I know how to talk to men. Women are not men (kind of the point of this blog) and you see, hear, think, and process differently than men. I don’t need to be blunt here, you will get subtle. Over the top is more likely to put you off than get your attention. These things are true for what I write and the images I use.

When I started this, I gave Lori veto power over anything, from topics, to word choice to pictures. I needed a woman’s eye checking what I do here. In addition to turning out a far better blog, I am learning some interesting things about women. Lori’s input is teaching me how women tend to react to certain words and images. 

In a more general sense, a man’s wife is always a part of what he does. Even when she is not there and has no idea what he’s doing, her influence has shaped his thoughts and actions. In my experience, a wife’s shaping is positive far more often than it is negative. So, thanks to my wife for helping me be better, and thanks to all the wives who have made men as a whole a bit more civilised. 

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I made a smart aleck remark just before the picture above was snapped.

Worth Reading: The other day I ran across I Wasn’t Treating My Husband Fairly, And It Wasn’t Fair. Does a good job of addresses something I hear men complain about.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Jenny January 12, 2015 at 8:19 am

Jenny recently posted…My 10 Favorite Books of 2014My Profile


Lori January 12, 2015 at 11:17 am

Thank you, dear.
Lori recently posted…All in Good TimeMy Profile


Jerry Stumpf January 12, 2015 at 12:40 pm

Great support Paul. Anyone who has been married for a while, when they take an honest look, will see how valuable their spouse is to their success.

That is a good article you quote. I think I may also use it since I write to men and they have mentioned the “clod-husband syndrome” in advertising.

My wife Elaine, is a wonderful help meet to me and my business. She has the ability to make people feel at home in our home which as you know helps tremendously in coaching.

I may write a series on “Nagging, naggee’s (if that’s a word)” and the results that follow. Perhaps we can collaborate on a series for both blogs?

Thanks again for your support for married couples.
Jerry Stumpf recently posted…How’s your sex life going to be in 2015? I want to help make this the most incredibly intimate year ever for you two!My Profile


Paul Byerly January 13, 2015 at 11:11 am

You are old enough to remember when TV was the other way on men and women – men were smart and got things done, women were less intelligent and did very little of worth and value. From one wrong to the other, back and forth, over and over.
Paul Byerly recently posted…How I Became CriticalMy Profile


Dan January 15, 2015 at 11:08 pm

As a male, authoring a blog that has a strong female following is definitely a learning experience with each post. I understand what you mean about processing differently and it’s real easy to stub one’s toe with well-meaning writing that is a bit “too male”.
Dan recently posted…Her Sex Is Broken and I Gotta Fix It: Part 2 — OrgasmsMy Profile


Paul Byerly January 16, 2015 at 10:25 am

I’d not have even tried it without knowing my wife was there to help. (The 17 years of experaince don’t hurt, but it’s not enough.)
Paul Byerly recently posted…Friday Flashback: Love Her, Love Her KidsMy Profile


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