Last April I wrote about Why You Initiating Sex Matters so Much to him. This is one of the things I hear most from men about their sex lives – second to wanting more.
What we hear from women about initiating is:
- I don’t know how.
- I’m embarrassed.
- I never get the chance; he asks all the time or he asks before I am ready!
Some ideas for the first two:
- Whisper, “I’m horny” in his ear.
- Leave a note on the bathroom mirror.
- Come to bed just after him, wearing less clothing than usual.
- Get a sexy bit of something and wear it as a signal you are willing.
- Place one or both of his hands on your breasts or between your legs.
- Send him a text during the day letting him know you want him tonight.
- Put a candle somewhere in the room and light it when you are up for sex.
- Offer to rub his back or shoulders. Start there, and move on to other areas.
- Join him in the shower. If you don’t usually do this, it will give him the idea.
- If you only lock the bedroom door for sex, wait till he gets in bed, then get up and go lock the door.
- Slide your hand slowly down his body and between his legs. When you grasp his penis, ask if he wants “to do something with this?”
As to him always asking first, you’ll have to beat him to the draw. This probably means starting sex when you’re not fully interested. You don’t have to go the full nine yards – offer a quickie or something other than intercourse. You still get credit for initiating, and you take his drive down a notch. Do this on occasion, and you might want sex before he asks sometime.
~ Paul, I’m XY, and I love it when my wonderful wife goes into the bedroom and kicks the dog out.