Please take a moment to read Breaking the Power of a Lie by Cam. I’ll give my wife a kiss while I wait for you.
How does the article make you feel? Scared, angry, confused, encouraged, or some combination of those? I’m sure some feel Cam should avoid the woman in question, but let’s set that aside and look at something else.
If your husband were in a similar situation, would he tell you? Would he feel he could tell you? Would telling you start a huge fight? Could you respond as Rachel did, with love and grace? Could you trust your husband’s heart and support him?
As Cam says, sharing the lie took its power. Being secretive makes temptation and sin grow stronger. Sharing temptations and sins strips away their power.
Cam said of his wife’s reaction to his sharing, “Rachel was amazing. She heard me out, chose to believe in my heart for her, and offered her enthusiastic support.” I would bet he wasn’t surprised by her reaction. He knows her from years of marriage, and he knew he could trust her with this. Maybe it went better than he expected, but I doubt Cam felt any real fear about sharing his temptation with his wife. That is what I hope you take from this. When it comes down to the crunch, your husband includes or excludes you based on how experience tells him you will react. If he has reason to think you’ll get angry, or will withdraw from him, he’ll have no motivation to share with you. If he believes you will hear and support him, he’ll find it easier to share with you. If he knows you’ll be on his side and will fight with him, he will want to share with you.
I realise other things can be at play in all this, including past sins on both sides. However, what he thinks you will do if he tells you is likely the deciding factor. What he thinks you’ll do is based on what you’ve done in the past. What do your past reactions tell your husband?
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I know I can tell Lori anything.
Worth Reading: A Shaded View of Romance The Forgiven Wife give us a deeply personal post about romance novels.