My Wall, A Window into My Mind.

March 17, 2015

in Uncategorized

My Wall  © Paul H. Byerly

Above is a picture of the wall by my computer. Here’s what I have posted there, and what they mean to me.

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” ~  Jim Rohn

This is a sobering thought, and a good reminder to choose your friends, especially your closest friends, with great care. 

Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate.” ~ William Arthur Ward

This one challenges me because I have fallen short of most of those things for much of my life. I’m doing a bit better, and working at it.

If what you believe does not reflect truth, then what you feel does not reflect reality.” ~ Neil T Anderson

This quote has been part of our lives for 25 years. It reminds me to check my beliefs regularly. It also warns me my feelings can be misleading, and helps me keep things in line so my feelings do reflect reality.

“If anyone ever asks you, “what would Jesus do,” remind them flipping tables and chasing people with a whip is in the realm of possibilities.” ~ Unknown

They showed this when I was at advanced bootcamp last fall. I love it because it challenges the neutered Jesus some are pushing. It also challenges me to think about what I do and why.

It’s ok to have too much fun.

My wonderful wife got this for me. Of course I agree 100%, and always have felt this way. I take her gift as permission! 

Manosphere Got You Down? “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. 11 You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” Titus 3:10-11 NIV

A friend make this cartoon for me last year when I was taking a lot of heat on The Generous Husband from some manosphere types. I have a tendency to argue any point to the ground, and I was not doing very wall at avoiding doing that with the commenter on the blog. This cartoon was encouraging, and a kind way to suggest it was time for me to let it go. I thank God for friends who look out for me in this way!

What’s on your wall, refrigerator or bathroom mirror? what does it say about you? What does it communicate to your husband about you?

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Jerry Stumpf March 17, 2015 at 6:14 am

Great to see on your wall and into your heart!

I may just “borrow” one or two!

Keep up the great work. Keep having fun
Jerry Stumpf recently posted…Helpful posts that will enrich your marriage and your lifeMy Profile

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Jenny March 17, 2015 at 6:55 am
Chris March 17, 2015 at 12:01 pm

What will happen to your wall when you relocate your office into your RV?
Chris recently posted…Growing in a Time of StressMy Profile

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Paul Byerly March 17, 2015 at 3:28 pm

We’ve talked about getting a digital picture frame.
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T March 17, 2015 at 6:08 pm

Please forgive my ignorance, but what’s wrong with the manosphere? Or was the problem the spirit of the commenter, and the manosphere was just the issue being discussed?

It seems like on Christian marriage/sex sites, articles, blogs, comments, etc. which are directed (even PREACHED) at women to make ourselves more sexually appealing to our husbands are praised and applauded. Wear lingerie! Mix it up and make it exciting for him! Give him a lap dance! Appeal to his visual nature! Etc. etc. etc.

But men can’t be told what to do to make themselves more sexually appealing to their wives? Maybe I don’t understand the manosphere (I am mainly familiar with the “rootbeer of the manosphere”) or maybe there’s a double standard at play? Or maybe there are some parts of the manosphere that I’m not familiar with, that are so bad that people will throw out the baby with the bathwater?

From your writings I have faith that you are a reasonable individual whose opinion has merit. I am not trying to be divisive, I am trying to understand.

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Paul Byerly March 19, 2015 at 10:19 am

Some of what the manosphere has to say is good, but it also has some ugly and scary stuff. Some would make women much like traditional Muslim women, minus the burka. Women should not vote, are never allowed to say no to sex, or any sex act, and should agree with their husband at all times, no matter what he says.
And of course the downfall of Western civilisation is all the fault of women and the wimpy men who follow them. I apparently am one of the collaborating males, and as such a gender traitor.
Then there is the non-Christian manosphere which is even worse!
Paul Byerly recently posted…Dreams: His, Hers, and OursMy Profile

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T March 25, 2015 at 6:30 pm

Paul,

Thank you for explaining. I had been equally perplexed as to why they would be giving you grief, but I understand now. That is so completely NOT the manosphere types I’ve encountered. I’ve seen more along the lines of pick-up artistry, “how to seduce your wife.” (Would love to see more of that kind of writing from a Christian perspective. There’s a lot about technique in the bedroom, and showing kindness to your wife, but not a lot about flirting or seduction.)

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Paul Byerly March 26, 2015 at 11:01 am

There is one well known blogger who does what you say, and I often agree with him. I’ve had a couple of men say I am the “Christian Athol”. I think he goes a bit far into what I would call playing games, but only a bit. I wish he were more representative of the manosphere, but I find him to be on the sane fringe.

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T March 31, 2015 at 8:02 pm

That comparison doesn’t surprise me at all. I have recently been reading “This Momentary Marriage” by John Piper. His chapters regarding Headship are titled “Lionhearted and Lamblike.” Well doggoneit! There you have it, the Christian terminology for the Alpha/Beta concept as described by AK!

DH is superb on the Lamblike/beta but needs a little help with the Lionhearted/alpha. Can you recommend any Christian resources? Can you point me to any of your own writings that lean toward the alpha? (There are so many to wade through, I wasn’t sure what tags might apply, and the handful of posts I tried regarding “Headship” all seemed to lean toward the beta.)

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Paul Byerly April 2, 2015 at 10:55 am

Lionhearted and Lamblike – I like it!
Yes I suspect most of my posts have leaned towards beta. I have seen too much alpha cause big problems, so I have probably leaned towards beta to balance. I’m seeing the dangers of going to far the other way, and working to include more along the lines of alpha.
The other thing is I am very big on removing the log from your own eye first, and I may lean too much that way at times.
Most of what would qualify as alpha is about dealing with her sins and problems. My posts yesterday and today are about helping her help herself. Alpha edge, but not hard. You will find some other similar posts on http://bit.ly/1NKZSfK search page.
As for alpha in the bigger day to day way a man acts, I don’t think I’ve written much on that. I need to think about it some!
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J. Parker (@HotHolyHumorous) March 18, 2015 at 6:37 am

Love seeing what you’ve put on your wall! Here’s a sampling of what’s in my office (in various places):

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if working for the Lord and not men” (Colossians 3:23).
“Life is a book unwritten. Only you hold the pen.” (Hey, I’m a writer!)
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans” (Proverbs 16:3).

And in my kitchen: “I kiss better than I cook.” Yep. Hubs did not marry me for the cooking! :)
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Paul Byerly March 19, 2015 at 10:13 am

Thanks J.
So this is why you have a sex blog, not a cooking blog?
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