In the USofA today is the deadline for filing our tax returns. Few of us look forward to doing our taxes, and it taxes many marriages.
One common issue is procrastination. I’ve seen many men procrastinate about money issues, from doing the taxes to paying bills, to dealing with bill collectors. I recognise this because I’ve been guilty of it myself.
Of course, I knew ignoring these things never helps. At best it will be just as bad when I finally do it, and if I delay too long it could get a good deal worse. Unfortunately, this reality does nothing to help.
Money and bills are rather abstract. Men like things we can get our hands on. We feel we can fix or conquer physical items, or at least we have a fighting chance. Finances are a completely different thing. Additionally, not having enough money makes us feel like a failure, and dealing with finances is facing the failure. I think many men deny a bad financial situation to try to avoid depression.
Another financial trap men fall into is the pseudo-gambling known as investing. I’ve known several men who made and lost more money than I’ll ever have. They played the market, and for a time they did well. However, it seems they were unable to win and get out, they had to have more. Usually these men trumpet their wins to their wife, but hide their losses. They feel ashamed for losing huge amounts of money, and more often than not they feel the only way to fix it is to “keep playing till they win it all back”.
Bottom Line: He doesn’t think and feel about money the way you do. Your husband may not match what I’ve said here, but it’s very unlikely his attitudes towards money are the same as your attitudes. Male desire for adventure and our greater willingness to take risk can get us in financial trouble. The fear and shame of admitting what we’ve done can cause us to hide things we should share, and ignore things we should confront.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I finished our taxes before Easter!