We once did a survey asking men and women their idea of perfect foreplay. While it was not a choice we gave, five men added they would like to watch their wife masturbate. This doesn’t surprise me; had it been a choice, it would have been selected by a number of men. I’ve had plenty of men ask me how they can get their wife to do this, and several women say they were upset or confused that their husband asked for this. Most men (virtually all?) would like this. Many women wonder why or have negative feelings about it.

There are a number of reasons a husband would want this:

• Curiosity: Most men have wondered how women masturbate since becoming aware women do it. 
• Education: Most of us never feel we really understand female sex organs. Foreplay and giving manual orgasms often leave us feeling like we’re guessing. Watching how you do it seems like a great way of learning how to do it better.
• It Proves You’re Sexual: I’m sure it seems odd to women, but this reassures a man his wife is sexual. It shows she really wants and enjoys sex, which is a good thing.
• It’s Deeply Intimate: I realise masturbation may seem the opposite of intimate to you, but he sees it as a personal and private sex act. Your sharing this with him is letting him into a special, private place.
• A Big Turn-On: All of the rest aside, yes, it’s a massive turn on for a guy. 

Does your husband want to watch you masturbate? Odds are very, very high he does. Maybe he’s asked or hinted, maybe he’s been too afraid of what you would say or think to suggest it. You could ask him, but I wouldn’t do so unless you’re willing to follow up if he says yes. I’d also suggest not just doing it unless you’re sure he’s not opposed. If he’s strongly against masturbation, he may get upset. Even worse, he might get both aroused and upset.

Survey Says: The first time I ran this post, I ran a survey for men about the issue. The 1,400 answers we received are instructive. Forty-nine per cent of men have watched their wives masturbate to orgasm. Nineteen per cent have seen her do it, but short of orgasm. Eighty per cent were very enthusiastic about watching their wife masturbate in the future, while only 2% didn’t want to.

~ Paul – I’m XY and now you know!

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