Why Does My Husband Want to Watch Me Masturbate?

April 22, 2015

in Uncategorized

We recently did a survey asking men and women their idea of perfect foreplay. While it was not a choice we gave, five men added they would like to watch their wife masturbate. This does not surprise me; had it been a choice, I have no doubt it would have been selected by a number of men. I’ve had plenty of men ask me how they can get their wife to do this, and several women upset or confused their husband asked for this. Most men (virtually all?) would like this. Many women wonder why, or have negative feelings about it.

Excited man © Sabphoto | dollarphotoclub.com

There are a number of reasons a husband would want this:

  • Curiosity: Most men have wondered how women do this since becoming aware women do it. 
  • Education: Most of us never feel we really understand female sexuality and sex organs. Foreplay and manual orgasm often leave us feeling like we’re guessing. Watching how you do it seems like a great way of learning how to do it better.
  • It Proves You’re Sexual: I’m sure it seems odd to women, but this reassures a man his wife is sexual. It shows she really wants and enjoys sex, which is a good thing.
  • It’s Deeply Intimate: I realise masturbation may seem the opposite of intimate to you, but he sees it as a personal and private sex act. Sharing this with him is letting him into a special, private place.
  • A Big Turn-On: All of the rest aside, yes, it’s a massive turn on for a guy. 

Does your husband want to watch you masturbate? Odds are very, very high he does. Maybe he’s asked or hinted, maybe he’s been too afraid of what you would say or think to suggest it. You could ask him, but I wouldn’t do so unless you are willing to follow up if he says yes. I’d also suggest not just doing it unless you know he not opposed. If he’s strongly against masturbation, he may get upset. Even worse, he might get both aroused and upset.

Survey Says: We’re running a survey on this issue. So far, over 400 men have answered. Half of the men have watched their wife masturbate at least once (with or without orgasm). Fewer than 5% have no desire to do so or do so again. 

~ Paul – I’m XY and I ain’t sayin’ no more!

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

IntimacySeeker April 23, 2015 at 6:48 am

Remember the movie, “Being There” with Peter Sellers and Shirley MacLaine? “I like to watch…” was his default line. :-)


Paul Byerly April 23, 2015 at 11:34 am

He’s not the only one!
Paul Byerly recently posted…Make A Change. Any Change…My Profile


Robb April 25, 2015 at 7:53 am

waiting with anticipation for the results of this survey …thanks


El Fury April 29, 2015 at 7:10 am

Because your wife is super sexy? I think this question is a subset to the general situation that women just don’t understand how men think about sex.

(We linked to your post here.)
El Fury recently posted…Naughty Story GeneratorMy Profile


Keelie Reason April 29, 2015 at 12:25 pm

Men are so visual, I can imagine this would be a turn on for them. I don’t know if it would work the other way around as much. I know that for learning purposes, it can be helpful to watch your husband. I think that a lot of men would enjoy the learning chance with their wives too….of course, along with the visual stimulation.
Keelie Reason recently posted…How to Feel More Comfortable Pleasing Each Other With MouthsMy Profile


Paul Byerly April 29, 2015 at 3:36 pm

It is a great way to learn about each other. For that taking turns is better, as it makes it possible to focus.
BTW, great article linked to your comment!
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Dan May 7, 2015 at 12:35 am

Keep in mind, Keelie, the act of watching your husband masturbate is showing him you accept his sexuality and how he exercises it as well as admitting to your own. In that way, it can be an affirming experience for the husband as well a learning experience for the wife. “….of course, along with the visual stimulation.” Well, yeah.
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Paul Byerly May 7, 2015 at 9:35 am

Great point, Dan.
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Dan May 10, 2015 at 6:47 am

ANDKellie it is also a vulnerable experience for both sexes. watching and being watched. What does my mate think of what I am doing and also what does my mate think of my wanting to and enjoying watching and even asking me to do something. One certainly positive thing is that as such presents an unique bonding and trust building opportunity as well as learning experience for both participants about one another.
Dan recently posted…Quickie: When size doesn’t matter — Smooth as a Baby’s ButtMy Profile


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