I spent the first weekend of this month at a men’s retreat. Including staff there were about 125 men from the age of 19 to 70+. There were also a few female camp staff, all 18 to less than 30. It was interesting to watch how the men treated and acted towards the few women present.
When the young male lifeguards all stopped talking, as a female staff member walked by their lunch table, there was certainly a sexual edge to their awareness. However, most of the men were married and older than the young ladies and sexual interest was not a factor. Yet, the men all treated the few women differently. They showed respect and deference, even as these women were serving them.
God has created men to feel protective about women – all women. Some men are so messed up they don’t play this out well, but they still feel it. I realise men have abused this natural urge in the past and used it to limit women in wrong ways. This doesn’t make the urge wrong.
Women have two options with this:
- Accept it and feel special and loved because of it.
- Be offended and try to fight it.
I see the second option being chosen more and more often. Aside from robbing the woman of something God intended, it can draw anger. If a man runs into this often enough he may get tired of it and override his God given desire to show women deference and respect. This isn’t good for anyone, and can contribute to some really ugly things.
Your husband feels certain things about you because you are female. He might not have it exactly right, but God intended him to be this way, and telling him he’s wrong or fighting it isn’t good for you, for him, or for your marriage. Let him treat you like a woman, and when you see him doing it thank him. You’ll both benefit.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I feel protective of women in general