He Wants “Too Much”

June 12, 2015

in Uncategorized

One of my mom’s stories about me when I was young:

You dad would be serving up dessert for you and I’d say, “Don’t give him too much” and you would say, “I want too much!”

To me “too much” was a quantity. It was the quantity I wanted, and it was a quantity my mother denied me.

How much? © creative soul | Dreamstime.com

Plenty of men are still doing this, only the “too much” they want has to do with sex, and the woman not giving them the quantity they want is their wife.

As I’ve mentioned a few (dozen) times on this blog, men and women are different. More of our differences than the modern world will admit come down to how we’re constructed. Those of us who follow Jesus understand our construction shows us what God intended.

One such difference is sex drive. Prior to 40, the average man has a much greater drive than the average woman does. He wants sex more often, and he wants more variety. Judged on a female scale, he wants too much. Judged on God’s scale it looks different.

I’m not telling you to just do whatever he wants whenever he wants. I think God gave you a different drive for a reason, and ignoring your sexuality to give him anything he wants is not the answer. I’m asking you to think about it from his perspective, and consider what God might have intended in giving him “too much” sex drive. How can the two of you find what God wanted? How do you blend what each of you was given to get what God intended?

~ Paul – I’m XY, and let’s just say my wife isn’t like my mom!

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Me June 12, 2015 at 7:00 pm

Ah, if only this were true! In my marriage, I mean. My husband has never wanted “too much.” I try to be happy if he wants “just a touch.” I’d love to give him far, far more than he desires. I get it that not all men are the same, and I get it that I am one of the few high drive wives out there, but it’s a hard way to live.
Ladies, if your husband wants “too much” consider yourself blessed!


Paul Byerly June 12, 2015 at 10:01 pm

@Me – This is the case for about 20% of wives. And it’s just as painful and just as wrong when it’s the man who is doing it.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Friday Flashback: Reach Out and Touch HerMy Profile


Amy June 12, 2015 at 9:45 pm

I agree, Me! I get so tired of hearing wives complaining about their husbands actually wanting to make love to them and maybe even ‘too much’!

My dear husband has horribly long work hours which makes for too much exhaustion and way too little lovemaking.

And even when he’s too tired and sex is the last thing on his mind, I still need to hear him tell me how he desires me and that sometimes I’m the first thing on his mind. ;)
Amy recently posted…Such Amazing Grace!My Profile


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