Diet or Life Style?

August 17, 2015

in Uncategorized

This year lovely Lori and I have lost almost 70 pounds between us. (I’ve lost more, gender differences in metabolism are so unfair to you ladies!)

We’ve not lost weight by going on “a diet”; we’ve done it by making a lifestyle change. How we eat now is how we will be eating a month from now, a year from now, and likely for the rest of our lives. From what I’ve read, this is the only way to lose substantial weight and keep it off.

Mango peach smoothie  © saschanti |

I mention this because I’ve had a bad habit of trying to change my marriage with “diets” rather than life style changes, and I see plenty of men doing the same thing. Men are into fast change. Attack a problem and solve it before sunset. If it’s a really big, complex problem, it might take the rest of the week. Once it’s solved, we move on to the next problem.

This approach works for some things, but its success rate for marriage issues is abysmal. Marriage changes take time and ongoing effort; a fast fix is rarely a real fix. Unfortunately, this reality doesn’t always occur to us, so we keep doing what feels natural even though it doesn’t work.

If your husband is into “fad diet” fixes for your marriage, try to help him see it’s not working. It’s going to take lifestyle changes, which may not be comfortable for him. If you understand the why, you will be better able to change the what.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’m less of a man than I used to be!

Our weight lost life style change:

  • After way too much research, we’re eating what looks a lot like the Mediterranean diet
  • The real secret to our weight loss is smoothies. I do one for breakfast and lunch, while Lori the lessening does oatmeal for breakfast and a smoothie for lunch. Smoothies make it easy to get the fibre, fruit, and veggies (spinach powder) we need in a low calorie, filling meal. (Did you know cocoa powder is low calorie and rather healthy?)
  • We splurge a bit weekly. For us this is family night with our son and his in-laws. They’re rather nuts and twigs in their diet, so eating a bit more isn’t a huge hit. This is usually the only day we eat dessert.
  • Each night we each have one square of Ghirardelli Intense Dark Bar Sea Salt Soiree Chocolate Bar. At 63 calories, it’s not a problem, and we get a treat.
  • We’ve also been moving more as we worked on the house and RV. We are planning to do some hiking and other things when we hit the road to keep the calorie burning up.

Links may be monetised
Image Credit: © saschanti |

Shop AmazonShop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

libl August 17, 2015 at 2:52 am

Trim Healthy Mama is a great book with so many positive testimonies.


Paul Byerly August 17, 2015 at 8:36 am

@libl – I doubt I will ever be a trim, healthy Mama, but thanks for the suggestion!
Paul Byerly recently posted…Try Her Shoes for a MileMy Profile


libl August 18, 2015 at 3:55 am

Lots of men are on the program!


Me August 17, 2015 at 6:42 am

This is great! Congrats on the weight loss and lifestyle change. This is very inspirational. My husband and I have always been pretty fit, but as we are both heading into our 40s, we both see weight creeping on. The busy-ness of life has led us into a diet of poor nutrition. I am inspired by your story, and will talk to my husband about implementing some lifestyle changes starting today. Thanks so much for all you do!


Paul Byerly August 17, 2015 at 8:35 am

@Me – It’s amazing what creeps up on us, especially when we get too busy. Praying you and hubby can find some changes that work for you.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Try Her Shoes for a MileMy Profile


IntimacySeeker August 17, 2015 at 6:47 am

Congratulations and thanks for inspiring so many others. Smoothies rock. My version is frozen fruit, a banana, and low fat milk. You do need an industrial strength blender to handle the frozen fruit.


Paul Byerly August 17, 2015 at 8:38 am

@IntimacySeeker – We do that plus a bit of Greek yogurt and spinach. Used to freeze the spinach, but we lack the freezer space in the RV so we dry and power it.
We did kill a couple of blenders before we found a reasonably priced on that does the job.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Try Her Shoes for a MileMy Profile


Rosemary August 17, 2015 at 10:11 am

Congratulations on the weight loss. My experience has been that “diets” work temporarily, but, as you point out, the weight will not stay off without a change in eating style. I’ve recently lost 10 pounds (and hope to lose a bit more) primarily by making subtle changes in the way I think about food. I make myself aware of each bite rather than just mindlessly sticking food into my mouth. The food is more enjoyable, and my hunger is satisfied sooner. At home, I cook slightly smaller portions. In restaurants, I pay attention to how I feel and stop eating when I’ve had enough, rather than when the plate is empty. I don’t feel guilty about wasting food; the leftovers are wrapped and brought home for another meal or two. And I make a habit of saying no to things I don’t really want, rather than accepting snacks and “treats” out of habit or misguided politeness.
Rosemary recently posted…Use Your WordsMy Profile


Paul Byerly August 17, 2015 at 6:07 pm

@Rosemary – Habit is always a problem!
Paul Byerly recently posted…Try Her Shoes for a MileMy Profile


Ren Kodam August 19, 2015 at 7:43 am

Congrats on your weight loss success. I totally agree that lasting and sustainable weight loss comes down to lifestyle changes, not ‘dieting’. I think a lot of people would achieve their fitness goals a lot faster if they used the time they spent looking for ‘quick fixes’ to apply some simple lifestyle changes. Often it’s the little things we do on a daily basis that determine our success.


Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: