My brilliant wife knows I find her sexy. It took years for her to believe this – years of me telling her repeatedly, and years of her fighting the garbage our culture had piled on her.
I’m sure it’s nice for her to know I find her sexy, and I know it blesses me for her to accept and live in this reality.
There are two issues here:
Sexy Isn’t Universal
There’s no single ideal of the perfect female body. When I was growing up giant boobs were all the rage. Porn was full of them, and all the guys as school talked about them. I never understood this because I didn’t massive nearly as appealing as smaller breasts. I realise now I was not alone; I was just shouted down by the presumed majority. Bigger was better, and any guy who said anything else was going to have his sexuality questioned. Peer pressure caused us to all say bigger was better, even though some of us didn’t agree.
History is full of varying cultural standards of what’s sexy. There were times when tiny breasts were all the rage. Voluptuous was the in thing for a long time, and skinny would have been a total turn off. The Greeks thought a small penis was better looking than a larger one. The “sexiest” body size, shape, and parts have changed repeatedly throughout the years.
Beyond the cultural standard, there are always men who find something else sexy. I suspect keeping quiet about not agreeing with the social norm has always been common. Aside from risking being seen as less of a man, what we see as sexy is rather personal.
What You Love is Sexy
My wonderful wife came equipped rather close to my ideal. However, this is secondary to the fact I like her. I want to be with her, and only her. I don’t want to share my life, or my bed, with any other woman. This makes her the sexiest woman in the world to me. What she sees as imperfections I see as unique parts of her wonderful body. Her body is sexy because it’s her body. I enjoy it because I love her.
I’m not alone in this; I hear the same from other men. I’ve talked to men who say their taste in female anatomy has changed to match how their wife looks. A man who was all about big breasts marries a small-breasted woman and comes to enjoy what she has. A man who was not into butts marries a woman with a nice butt and gradually it becomes a big deal to him. I suspect our brains are actually rewired over time, making the body of our wife the ultimate sexual standard.
If your hubby says he finds you sexy, please believe him. I didn’t say humour him or accept his compliments, I said believe him! Learn to enjoy the fact your body arouses him, and does so more than any other woman’s body could. Then work on using that power for mutual enjoyment and pleasure.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and living in an RV gives me some great chances to see my wife’s sexy body!