Holy Sex

January 22, 2016

in Uncategorized

Take a look at the image for this post – a sexy garter on a Bible. Does that feel a bit sacrilegious to you?

Bible and Sexy Garter © Objects | Dollarphotoclub.com

Unfortuanlty many Christians have the feeling sex, even in marriage, is less than holy. We’ve talked to people who can’t imagine having sex on Sunday morning then going to church! Others find the idea of praying before or after sex unsettling. Very few would feel okay about asking for prayer about sexual issues.

We have a long history of making sex unholy. Peter Lombard, a 12th-century theologian, said The Holy Spirit leaves the room when a married couple has sex, even if they do it without passion. Others have been even less charitable. Opinions ranged from sex being a necessary evil to okay as long as it was done rarely and not enjoyed too much.

Today the messages aren’t nearly as negative as in the past, but there’s still doubt in the minds of many. Sex is suspect, potentially dangerous, and to be limited. We must exercise caution, not the wild abandon the Bible actually tells couples to have in their marriage bed.

What about you? Do you think sex with your husband is a holy act, or something else? Do you limit yourself because you fear your desire, or his, is unholy? Have you ever limited your enjoyment/pleasure because you worried you might be going too far?

Try reading the Song of Songs in a modern translation and see what God says about sex in marriage. (And yes, the metaphors in SofS mean what you think they do!)

~ Paul – I’m XY and holy sex rocks!

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Teresa Richardson January 22, 2016 at 1:58 am

I used to believe that sex was separate from God, but after reading Total Woman and reading SoS in the Bible, I started inviting God into my intimate time with my husband. Knowing He’s there and that He approves because He created sex helps me to relax and be present with my husband during this time together


Paul Byerly January 23, 2016 at 7:37 am

@Teresa Richardson – I am so thankful for the growing number of books and websites showing us how God intended it to be!
Glad you have moved past the junk and into the joy!
Paul Byerly recently posted…Holy SexMy Profile


Jerry Stumpf January 22, 2016 at 4:51 am

I remember telling our couples to pray about their sex life and several cocked their heads and had a frightful look. It is sad that the one who created our enthusiastic sexuality is rebuffed or forgotten for the most sacred and intimate time in a couples marriage.

Thanks for our remiinders. Hope you are enjoyeing your trip and I know you are a blessing to couples as you encourage them to bring God into the bedroom as well as the supper table.
Jerry Stumpf recently posted…Incredibly easy ideas to put Sizzle Back in your marriage datesMy Profile


Rebecca Watson January 22, 2016 at 10:06 am

Great post!

Love the imagery of the garter with the Bible, and interesting factoid about Peter Lombard. Sad, of course, but interesting.
Rebecca Watson recently posted…How Not to Screw Up Your Kid When It Comes to SexMy Profile


Kevin January 24, 2016 at 7:43 pm

Paul, I appreciate your ministry and the important points you raise.

On balance, I think there is some Biblical support for there being occasions when even married sex should be temporarily set aside for holy devotion to God.

Exodus 19:10-11, 14-15
Then the Lord said to Moses, “Go to the people and consecrate them today and tomorrow, and let them wash their clothes. And let them be ready for the third day. For on the third day the Lord will come down upon Mount Sinai in the sight of all the people… So Moses went down from the mountain to the people and sanctified the people, and they washed their clothes. And he said to the people, “Be ready for the third day; do not come near your wives.”

1 Samuel 21:4-5
And the priest answered David and said, “There is no common bread on hand; but there is holy bread, if the young men have at least kept themselves from women.” Then David answered the priest, and said to him, “Truly, women have been kept from us about three days since I came out. And the vessels of the young men are holy, and the bread is in effect common, even though it was consecrated in the vessel this day.”

1 Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control

However, I absolutely believe that sexual intimacy in marriage is part of God’s good creation to be enjoyed with His full blessing and approval.

Proverbs 5:18-19
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.

SS 5:1
I have come to my garden, my sister, my spouse;
I have gathered my myrrh with my spice;
I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey;
I have drunk my wine with my milk.

Eat, O friends!
Drink, yes, drink deeply,
O beloved ones!


Paul Byerly January 25, 2016 at 6:11 pm

@Kevin – The 1 Corinthians 7 passage is actually Paul’s reply to those who wanted to set sex aside to focus on God. He said it was ALLOWED in some very narrow situations, but never required. As long as a couple fits within what Paul said, it’s all good.
Paul Byerly recently posted…A Nest On Wheels?My Profile


El Fury February 2, 2016 at 7:26 am

Hi Paul! Since you mentioned Song of Solomon, I wanted to point you to an ongoing series I’m writing about sexual imagery in Song of Solomon. Chapter 1 is at the bottom of the page, thanks to chronological sorting.
El Fury recently posted…Play Music From Your VaginaMy Profile


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