I’ve become convinced a lack of time together is the root cause of most marriage problems and a strong contributing factor in most divorces.
We are too busy. Most of us are way, way too busy. We hurt our health because of the stress and lack of sleep causef by our busyness, and we hurt the health of our marriages because we don’t have time to connect the way we should.
This is not a gender issue because men are every bit as guilty of it as women are. However, in my experience, women are worse about this than men. Maybe it’s the whole multi-tasking thing, maybe it’s being a mother.
Regardless of why, how you spend your time is the surest sign of your priorities. If you routinely short your husband on time you’re telling him he’s less important to you than the places you’re spending more time. You can tell yourself this isn’t the case, but I assure you he’s not buying that story.
As I will say to the men on The Generous Husband tomorrow, this problem is created one piece at a time over months and years and fixing it requires tearing it down one piece at a time. In most marriages both spouses have contributed to the problem. If both spouses decide to fix it and work together, it’s difficult. If only one spouse works for change it’s very difficult. Still, given the cost of not fixing it, someone needs to make a move. Are you ready to be someone?
~ Paul – I’m XY and I value every second I spend with my Wonderful Lori!