I think most twenty-something guys could get an erection on their death bed – and very much want to put it to use. There’s no such thing as being too tired for sex if it’s been at least 24 hours since the last time.
As we grow older this changes, but most men are 40 plus before they experience exhaustion trumping sex drive.
I say this to help you understand why he thinks it’s perfectly fine to ask for sex when you’ve been awake for 20 hours and have to get up again in less than six hours. He’s not asking you to do something he wouldn’t be happy to do himself.
If this is an issue in your marriage, I suggest a loving but firm discussion. Tell him you like sex, but you want to be awake for it. Explain long days suck away your sex drive, make it difficult at best to get aroused, and likely leave you unable to have a climax. Let him know you understand this is not his reality, but it is your reality.
Beyond that, keep him aware of your tiredness versus sexual willingness day to day.
- As he’s getting ready for work in the morning say “I hope we get to bed by 10 tonight so we can have sex”.
- If you feel the window closing in the evening, whisper “The park closes at 9 PM tonight”.
- Leave a note saying “Sex for both of us till 10, sex for just you till 11:30, and don’t even look at me sideways after midnight.”
I realise this seems a bit harsh, but once he gets it you’ll both be happier. The two of you will likely have more sex, and you will certainly enjoy the sex you have more.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and sex is better when she’s fully awake.
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