I THOUGHT She was Frustrated

March 2, 2016

in Uncategorized

The other day I thought my wife was frustrated with me. I thought this because she used a certain word in talking to me. I would never use that word with her unless I was frustrated with her. And since 5 + X = 13, I knew she must be frustrated!

Frustrated wife © pathdoc | dollarphotoclub.com

Of course, you see the problem there, right? I had the 5, but not the “X”. I got to 13 based on what the “X” would be for me. The thing is, my wife is not me, and for her “X” was 2. Last time a checked, 5 + 2 ≠ 13.

Then two amazing things happened:

  1. I realised I was reading myself into what she said.
  2. She realised how I would feel about what she said.

So we had a nice little talk and everything was fine. How awesome is that? 

It’s nice we both got a clue, and it made avoiding hard feelings faster and easier, but we could have navigated it well had either of us “got it” while the other did not. Sidestepping this kind of problem only requires one spouse to get it.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife said “emoting”. 

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah March 3, 2016 at 12:01 pm

Sorry, Paul. I don’t see the problem.

Your wife talked. You listened. Anything else is a bonus – even misunderstanding.

Well, I’m assuming you didn’t look up when she was done talking and say, “What did you say? I wasn’t listening. Can you repeat that?” :)

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Paul Byerly March 4, 2016 at 6:36 am

@Sarah – Since we caught it there was no problem, and that’s why learning to see more clearly is such a great thing!
Paul Byerly recently posted…Friday Flashback: Perfectly HorribleMy Profile

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Jolie March 3, 2016 at 4:50 pm

Moments like this get really interesting around menopause when “X” most often has no meaning what so ever. Nobody gets it, nobody understands it, but by golly, it had to be said!
Now that’s the true essence of emoting!

Reply

Paul Byerly March 4, 2016 at 6:36 am

@Jolie – In this case I was the one emoting. ;-)
Paul Byerly recently posted…Friday Flashback: Perfectly HorribleMy Profile

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