What makes your husband different from you is testosterone. When he was in the womb testosterone made his body and his mind male. Without a good dose of the “male hormone,” he would have been born looking exactly like a little girl in every way. He would not have been female, would never menstruate or be able to get pregnant, but otherwise, he would have looked and acted female. Such is the power of testosterone.
At puberty testosterone kicked in again, turning the boy into a man. Without testosterone his voice would not have deepened, his body would not have become hairy, and he would not have developed nearly as much muscle. He also would have had little to no sex drive, and would not have felt the call to adventure. He wouldn’t have wanted to marry, and had he married he would have had neither the urge nor the ability to protect his wife when she was in danger.
I understand that some of what testosterone does to men frightens many women. I understand other parts of what it does is inconvenient, at best. I understand why women think men would be better with a bit less of what testosterone does to and for us. But such a man would not be a man. He would not be or do the things that attracted you to him in the first place, and he wouldn’t have the strengths and abilities you count on. Half a man is not a man at all.
Just as he must learn to live with and even appreciate all the things your hormones do to you, so you need to learn to live with and appreciate the terror and blessing of Testosterone.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I try to do more blessing than terrorising.
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