Lori and I have finished our speaking engagements for “this year” (our year runs from Oct to June). I hope many have received something of use from what we’ve shared. I know we’ve learned a great deal, and some of it is heartbreaking.
One of the things I keep seeing is that many wives aren’t enjoying sex. Some do it for him, some try to avoid it as best they can, and some enjoy it a little, on occasion. But a great many women are not enjoying sex as God intended.
I realise “enjoying sex” is a loaded phrase. We think men see enjoying sex as being just about physical pleasure. While men, in general, are more about the physical than women, most men understand good sex is about far more than an orgasm. On the other hand, while some women can sometimes enjoy sex without orgasm, climax is an important part of good sex for a variety of reasons physical, emotional, and relational.
It seems to me the majority of women are being robbed of the sex life they could have. Some would blame men for this. Given the number of men desperate for ways to make sex better for their wife I don’t think this is the primary reason women are missing out*. We could blame society. Society certainly sells women lies that hurt their ability to enjoy sex, but this is only a problem if a woman buys into the lies. I think the problem, and the solution, lie between a woman’s ears.
It is my prayer you will start to see not enjoying sex, or enjoying it just a bit, as a horrible thing. I pray you will start to feel cheated, robbed, and wronged. May the Lord show you He created sex to be an awesome thing for both husband and wife. I hope you start to see great sex as your right, and I pray your husband steps up when you start looking for more.
* The Exception: I realise some of you have husband’s who literally won’t lift a finger to help you enjoy sex. I’m deeply sorry. I recently saw someone suggest such unloving behaviour from a man justified his wife refusing sex until he’s willing to make it for both of them. I find it difficult to argue with that; in a very real way such a man is refusing his wife sex. Of course, such a man may be so selfish he would react by just taking care of himself.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I want sex to be at least as fantastic for Lori as it is for me.
Related Post: J has a great post about this over on Hot, Holy & Humorous: If the Sex is So Great, Why Aren’t You Satisfied?
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