We live in a world that thinks the way to make children happy is to tell them how wonderful they are – even if they’re not. Kid’s sports don’t keep score or limit how far ahead one side can get. In some events everyone gets an award. This is supposedly about building a child’s self-confidence, but studies are finding it’s doing something else, something damaging to a child’s ability to have good relationships as an adult. A growing number of college kids show clear narcissistic tendencies and more and more young people seem unable to admit wrong or offer a real apology.
In short, we have a growing problem with pride. The Bible warns us about pride, while the world tells us to be proud. The Bible instructs us to put others first while the world tells us to look out for number one. The world’s way it bad for relationships in general, and for marriages in particular.
Unless you and your husband are both very unusual people, pride has been a problem in your marriage. Perhaps you’ve not identified the issue as pride because you looked at the way pride played out rather than digging down to the true roots of the behaviour. Perhaps you know he’s acting out of pride but you don’t know how to talk with him about it. Maybe he thinks you’re acting out of pride but is afraid to challenge you on it.
I suggest a discussion about this with your guy. Initiate it by talking about yourself. If you see places where you’ve hurt him or your marriage out of pride, own it, repent, and ask for his forgiveness. If you don’t see current examples in your life ask him if he thinks your pride is causing problems.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’m not proud of what my pride has done to my wonderful wife over the years!