Today is Independence day here in the USofA. It’s the day we celebrate the success of our
rebellion revolution against The United Kingdom. (I have a British friend who says, yes, they celebrate over there too – they were glad to be rid of us!)
In addition to grilling and eating far too much of things with almost no nutritional value, one big part of the Fourth of July is fireworks. Fireworks stands are everywhere. If your state has stringent limits, just drive to the nearest state border where you will find plenty of stands capitalising on their location. Some folks spend hundreds of dollars on fireworks. Last year people a block from us put on a better show than our town provided!
And, every year, a lot of people are injured by fireworks. Of course, when I say “people” I mean men, who account for three-fourths of the 10,000+ emergency room visits a year related to fireworks. Why are men, especially men under 45, so willing to risk blowing themselves up?
One Word: Adventure
We crave adventure. We need it almost as much as we need food and water. It’s built into our DNA and applying safe boundaries can be difficult. Fireworks are but one of the thousands of ways men seek to satisfy their need for adventures and thrill seeking. Odds are your husband has one or two such things in his life, and it may be a source of concern (or stark terror) for you.
Trying to stop him altogether isn’t likely to work well. He may “behave” when you’re around, and then do things even more dangerous when you’re not looking. If he holds back he may resent you for restraining him. He may feel a little bit (or a lot bit) castrated by your worry and nagging.
If you work it right, you can be the voice of reason for him. Not a controlling voice, but another voice adding to what he considers before he acts. If you’re okay with being a voice he can ignore he will respect what you say far more. Over time your loving concern will modify his choices and behaviour. He won’t play it as safe as you would like, but he won’t take as extreme risks as he would without your voice.
~ Paul – I had bottle rocket wars as a teen and I still have both eyes and a majority of my fingers!