Risk and Adventure

July 13, 2016

in Uncategorized

My Why He’s Trying to Blow Himself Up post has generated some good discussion on risk and adventure. In most marriages, one spouse is far more given to risk and adventure. Usually, it’s the husband, but some of you have indicated it’s the opposite in your marriage. We can see this as a source of frustration, or we can see it for the blessing it is.

Lori has told a number of people our RV adventure would never have happened if I hadn’t been driven to make it happen. Privately she’s thanked me a number of times for adding adventure to her life; including our RV journey which she has mostly enjoyed. She has clearly benefited from my sense of adventure. But there’s another side to this, one that benefits me.

Ugly tire © Paul H. Byerly

I could see Lori as overly cautious and accuse her of holding me back. But this isn’t the reality. Lori’s caution and wanting to take it slow has saved me all manner of trouble and probably some injury. When we lost tread on a trailer tire on the Pennsylvania turnpike I wanted to drive on till we got to a service pull out. Lori very much wanted me to pull over and check it out right then. I pulled over for her. Given how bad the tire was, how far the next service pullout turned out to be, and the fact the tread flying off had broken one of two bolts holding our main pop-out, it’s a really, really good thing we stopped when we did. What was a minor inconvenience and a couple of hundred dollars could have been a major event in terms of damage, lost time, and cost.

Without me, Lori would sit home and have a small life. Without Lori, I’d be stuck who knows where. We both have better lives because we allow the other to modify our behaviour.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife keeps me from getting too hurt.


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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Henri July 13, 2016 at 8:40 am

Love this post! Without my husband I would never have adventure, as I am a homebody type person. Without me, my husband wouldn’t be as grounded as he is. Sadly we are still finding the balance where he doesn’t feel like I am restricting any of his dreams, and I am trying not to feel so overwhelmed by all his grand adventures. I will say though without him, my life would not be as full as it is, and for that I am grateful.


Jerry Stumpf July 15, 2016 at 2:23 pm

Again, we have commonality in our marriages. Elaine says she would still be in her small Michigan hometown. I would have blown through a lot more money and resources with my “when in doubt —- CHARGE!” mentality.

I have learned another valuable difference between us, My wife can spot a flirt or a fraud much faster than I do. So whenever her radar goes off, I listen. Women have extra sensitive abilities that we men do not.

She is a wonderful asset to our marriage.
Jerry Stumpf recently posted…5 astonishingly simple steps to steer your marriage in the right directionMy Profile


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