My Why He’s Trying to Blow Himself Up post has generated some good discussion on risk and adventure. In most marriages, one spouse is far more given to risk and adventure. Usually, it’s the husband, but some of you have indicated it’s the opposite in your marriage. We can see this as a source of frustration, or we can see it for the blessing it is.
Lori has told a number of people our RV adventure would never have happened if I hadn’t been driven to make it happen. Privately she’s thanked me a number of times for adding adventure to her life; including our RV journey which she has mostly enjoyed. She has clearly benefited from my sense of adventure. But there’s another side to this, one that benefits me.
I could see Lori as overly cautious and accuse her of holding me back. But this isn’t the reality. Lori’s caution and wanting to take it slow has saved me all manner of trouble and probably some injury. When we lost tread on a trailer tire on the Pennsylvania turnpike I wanted to drive on till we got to a service pull out. Lori very much wanted me to pull over and check it out right then. I pulled over for her. Given how bad the tire was, how far the next service pullout turned out to be, and the fact the tread flying off had broken one of two bolts holding our main pop-out, it’s a really, really good thing we stopped when we did. What was a minor inconvenience and a couple of hundred dollars could have been a major event in terms of damage, lost time, and cost.
Without me, Lori would sit home and have a small life. Without Lori, I’d be stuck who knows where. We both have better lives because we allow the other to modify our behaviour.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife keeps me from getting too hurt.