Lori and I have stopped at a lot of Subway sandwich shops this last year. The price, quality, and calorie count are all good, and you can usually find a Subway near the highway and in or next to someplace that can handle a big RV.
Being a people watcher at heart, I watch how the various employees relate to their customers and to each other. From the Mennonite lady who was very gentle with the clueless new employee to the I-deserve-a-better-job manager who felt no one was competent, how these folks act tells a lot about how they feel about themselves.
Our last Subway stop, the final day of our journey home, it was obvious the woman in charge didn’t feel appreciated. She was continually talking about all the problems they were facing and the things she was doing or wanted to do to resolve the problems. The subtext of her message was “This place would fall apart without me, and no one gives me the credit I deserve.”
This woman may or may not be the only employee there who really cares, but her angst comes from something deeper. I have no doubt she feels unappreciated by her friends and family. And I have no doubt she has felt this way for most of her life. Odds are good this goes back to her childhood.
I’m sure she had been dismissed often, and she likely deserves more respect than she gets. Her behaviour is begging for that, but in reality, she just puts people off. She is blocking the very thing she craves. Her life has become a self-fulfilling story; she expects more of the same and without meaning to do so she invites it.
Are you less appreciated than you should be? This is a reality for many wives, and especially for those with small children. It’s not right, but making a big deal about it is counterproductive. A better strategy is to know in yourself that what you’re doing is important. When you value what you do you don’t need the accolades of others as much. When you know what you do matters you feel better about yourself and this makes it easier to do more that matters. It becomes a virtuous cycle, and you and those around you benefit.
For the record, you have worth and value. God loves you just as you are. He’s okay with you being a mixture of beauty and brokenness, and He wants you to be okay with it too. Do what you know you should and feel good about it.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I hate how the world dumps on women.