Share the Last Hour

August 1, 2016

in Uncategorized

Do you spend the last part of your day doing as much as you can, only falling into bed when you’re totally spent?

Shocked woman looking at clock © pathdoc |

This is a bad choice for a number of reasons. It makes good sleep difficult, it leaves you feeling scattered and rushed, and it means you have little for your husband.

A good marriage requires regular time together. Calm, relaxed time. Time that’s just for the two of you.

What would happen if the last hour of the day was set aside as couple time? An hour before you plan to be asleep everything else stops and the two of you spend the final hour of the day together. The kids are in bed or sent to their rooms for the night, and all the chores are done. No emails or work, no Candy Crush or Call of Duty, no talking about bills or who’s taking the kids where tomorrow, and no mindless entertainment. You can talk, snuggle, go for a walk, sit on the back porch in the dark or play a game*. 

Yes, I realise how crazy this sounds. It would be nice, but who’s got time for that? We only get sixteen waking hours a day and I’m asking you to give your marriage 6¼ percent of that time! 

The question is this: is your marriage worth a little more than six percent of your time? If you want a good marriage you must invest time, and you must find ways to do that now no matter how busy and crazy your life in this season of life. If the last hour of the day won’t work for you, find another time. Rearrange your schedule and cut things out till you can make the time. Slash your activities like your marriage depends on it… because it does!

~ Paul – I’m, XY, and my marriage is worth way more than 6¼%!

* You will notice I didn’t include sex in my list of things to do with your hour. I’m all for sex, but do that some other time. You both need the hour a day to connect, and while sex is connection it could get in the way of the other forms of intimacy your marriage needs. Besides, if you spend the last hour of the day being intimate in other ways, sex will probably take care of itself!

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

B August 1, 2016 at 4:44 am

Nice idea, but my husband falls asleep by 8 pm, earlier in the winter. And he’s up and gone long before 5 am – to get a head start in work (his one true love).

Anyhow, my day can’t stop at 7 pm. I’m usually up until at least 12:30 am trying to get everything done.


Paul Byerly August 1, 2016 at 9:18 am

@B – Plenty of couples are in the same place. It can be changed if BOTH really want it to change.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Purse GiftsMy Profile


Andrew Budek-Schmeisser August 1, 2016 at 9:38 am

I’m all for using the time to play a game, but it is hard to organize sandlot rugby just before bedtime.

Seriously, good post Paul. Great idea.
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser recently posted…Your Dying Spouse 188 – Unexpected DeathMy Profile


Tom August 1, 2016 at 12:15 pm

We tend to make time for what we deem to be most important.
It all depends on how we prioritize.


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