Ever made a proclamation about some grand change you’re making, starting right now? Or maybe you didn’t announce it, but you told yourself “from this moment on I will _____ or I won’t _____.” (Think New Year’s Resolution).
How did those things work out for you? How often did you do what you determined to do from that moment till now?
We tend to put down small steps because they look minor and we don’t think they could accomplish anything of real value. But a number of small steps in the same direction can lead to massive changes. Because small steps are small it’s easy to do them and stick with them.
I say this for all of you, but also as something to propose to your husband. Men seem to be given to big sweeping changes, or at least to intending to make big sweeping changes. We have a bad habit of biting off far more than we can chew, which always leads to problems later. This is especially common when a man’s wife expresses displeasure with something or some clueless guy finally figures out something he’s doing really does bother his wife. We have every intention of making the life changing 180 we promise, but in the passion of the moment, we promise things we can’t do all in one giant step.
So, the next time your husband makes some grand gesture, help him back up and promise one or two small steps in the right direction. Ask him what small steps he could take, or suggest something by saying “If you would just _____ it would make a big difference to me.” If he does a small step or two and sticks with them praise and thank him for it, and then ask if he will take another step for you.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wonderful wife is all about “baby steps?”
Great Post: How Do Long-Time Patterns Affect Your Marriage Bed? | The Forgiven Wife – Great thoughts on how long-term habits affect your sex life and may get in the way of positive change. You both have ruts, do you see them?