PMS: 3 Letters That Strike Fear in His Heart

August 24, 2016

in Uncategorized

Okay, a guy talking about PMS. I realise I’m on shaky ground here as I’ve never experienced it first hand. On top of that, my Lovely Lori never had it as bad as many women. But I’ve seen it in action with more than a few women and I know it can be absolutely horrible for some.

PMS: 3 Letters That Strike Fear in His Heart

My goal in this post it to remind you that your husband and kids have to live with your PMS too, and the worse it is for you the worse it probably is for them.

I’ve dealt with some women who seemed to think they should never be held accountable for anything they said or did while in the grips of PMS. As much sympathy as I have for this very real condition, I can’t accept blanket amnesty for being ugly, nasty, or hurtful. If you say things you don’t mean, you MUST make amends after you regain hormonal sanity.

Additionally, please don’t tell your husband he’s exaggerating or making it up. I’ve seen more than a few bouts of PMS insanity in my time, and a couple of those women were fast to tell anyone who would listen their husband was making it seem worse than it was. Frankly, some of those same men were being more than kind in how they described it. 

There is help for PMS; there are both natural and medical ways of making it less horrible for you and for those who love you. If it’s more than an annoyance for you, please get help for yourself and everyone else around you.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’m glad I only have one hormone to worry about.

Related Post: Lori did Hormones Rule earlier this month. 

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Tiffany August 24, 2016 at 9:21 am

For those looking for a natural approach to dealing with PMS I highly recommend a supplement by Nee Chapter, it’s called Estrotone. My moods and crazy levels have been smoothed out since I started taking it about a year ago. It’s not a magic pill, it won’t take every little PMS symptom away, I still crave chocolate like nobody’s business but overall I feel much better and don’t snap at the littlest things anymore.


Alicia August 24, 2016 at 2:15 pm

Amen, Paul! I don’t blame men for hating these three initials, given how I see so many of my own gender making excuses for themselves during this time. I know the effects of PMS are very real, and can be quite severe. I experience them myself, and have taken steps to manage them. It’s not always easy, but I get incredibly frustrated with women who use PMS or their time of the month in general as an excuse or a crutch. Contrary to what some women would have men believe, we’re still responsible for our words, actions, and behaviors during that time. I’ve noticed that most men are pretty understanding, so long as the woman recognizes her responsibility to manage the symptoms and effects, and makes the effort to do so. Most guys don’t expect perfection, they just expect us to act like decent human beings. I don’t blame men for their lack of empathy when women think they can throw the usual rules for how they treat their husbands and family out the window and use the tired line of PMS as the reason why it’s ok.


Paul Byerly August 25, 2016 at 10:30 am

@Alicia – Exactly. The one that’s really nasty is the woman who is sweet to the kids, or the younger kids, and nasty to hubby or hubby and the older kids. There’s no way to sell that as “I can’t control myself”.
Of course this is just a subset of the men and women who treat everyone else nice and are nasty to their spouse.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Famous Last Words: I Can Do It Myself!My Profile


libl August 24, 2016 at 4:16 pm

My hubby didn’t want to be with me when I was giving birth because he was told how gruesome it would be and that I would verbally abuse him. I gave birth naturally with no meds and never ever once even thought of cussing out my husband, even when I was starving from not being allowed to eat all day and he made a big show of eating his dinner in front of me. I never understood why women would cuss out their husbands during labor. Like PMS, it is like a culturally accepted “free pass” to get things off our chests.

My hubby hates PMS, too. I do get broody and moody and mostly just need to be left alone. Plus, lately I have been getting quite ill from it, needing a day in bed, so he has to take care of things. But none of it is an excuse to be a jerk.

I used to shrug off that hormones caused such mood changes though until I had PPD. I could not believe how entrapped I was within my hormones. The thoughts I fought, the depression, the nervous breakdowns, the brain fog, the exhaustion, the anxiety attacks, the pain….I couldn’t will myself out of it no matter how much I tried and prayed. Once my hormones settled, it went away. So, please give a wife grace. It is scary stuff and probably a reason the Bible calls us the weaker vessel. You don’t have to put up with abuse, but be understanding.

My husband occasionally had to go on medication that alters his mood. He fights it, but sometimes it is a losing battle. I don’t put up with abuse, but I give him grace during these times.


Paul Byerly August 25, 2016 at 10:34 am

@libl “I never understood why women would cuss out their husbands during labor.”
I wonder how much of that is driven by movies and TV?

As for fighting hormones, your brains are basically chemical computers, so hormones and other chemicals reprogram us. We can only do so much to fight that, which is why we must get help if we can’t fight it. This is true for depression too, which is another form of chemical reprograming.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Famous Last Words: I Can Do It Myself!My Profile


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