A few weeks ago I suggested over on The Generous Husband that men plan three dates and let their wife pick which she would like to do. How about you doing something similar for your hubby with sex?
Come up with three scenarios, write them on 3 by 5 cards, and have him choose the one he wants. You could hand him the cards as you climb into bed or step into the shower, or even better you could give them in the morning to choose what kind of lovemaking he will share with you that night.
Doing this tells him you think about sex, and it tells him his needs and pleasure are important to you. If he complains you never initiate this would be a great way to change that. This could also work if you generally want more sex than he does, especially if you give him the choices early in the day so he can think about them and get all worked up.
This plan also has benefits for you. You get to script things, which helps you get what you need and can be used to teach him how to make sex better for you. So a card might tell him you will perform oral sex on him after he makes out with you and then takes care of your orgasm. Or you could tell him you will do whatever to him and then he will do whatever for you. You can also use this to safely test the waters on something a bit past what the two of you currently do. If he doesn’t pick it the first time it’s offered, mix it in again a few times later. What he chooses and what he doesn’t will teach you about his sexual interests. Take the themes he enjoys and see if you can tweak them to make it better for both of you.
If you find you and hubby both enjoy this game, try setting a regular “Pick 3” night once a month, or once a week, or the first Friday after your period.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I love choices!
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