Are You Rocking It With Artificial Lube?

September 23, 2016

in Uncategorized

A while back we did a survey on the use of artificial lube. The full results are here, below is what I think most women need to know.

Are You Rocking It With Artificial Lube? - Survey says it makes sex better.

Let me start with a comment from one woman:

It makes me so, so sad that we sometimes need to use lube. It makes me feel old. I guess I have the (hopefully) misconception that lube is just for older folks who need a little something extra.

A couple other women made similar comments, and I know it’s a fairly common concern. I think porn is largely to blame for this. As with everything else in porn, a woman’s “wetness” is exaggerated. Also as is the norm for porn, what wetness means has been skewed from reality. I fear most men come from porn to sex with a real woman expecting a level of natural lubricant that’s physically impossible. Even worse, more and more women are buying into that false reality.

Let’s balance this with a comment from a woman who is between the ages of 25 and 34″

I’ve always needed lube. I can count on one hand the amount of times I made enough lubrication for intercourse.

Over the years I have learned, both from firsthand experience and from talking to many men and women, that the amount of lubrication a woman produces means nothing. Some women are barely wet enough for intercourse after a couple of orgasms while other women can be nearly soaked but still in need of foreplay. In general, some women lubricate far more than others, but it varies from time to time for every woman too. I had to learn 1) not to see wet as a signal to go ahead, and 2) not to see a lack of lubrication as a signal of a problem or a lack of interest. I’ve tried to teach other men these things, but it’s a hard sell due to the consistent lie of porn.

Please don’t think using artificial lube means anything bad about you. A tube/bottle of lube is a tool that can make sex much better. Among the advantages ascribed to use of lube in our survey were:

  • Comfort: Two-thirds of the men and women in our survey said they use lube to reduce discomfort or pain.
  • Increased Pleasure: Half of the women and a third of the men said the use of lube increased their pleasure during sex. Yes, lube makes it better for him too.
  • More Likely to Orgasm: A third of women and seven percent of men said lube use increased the odds of them having an orgasm.
  • Longer Intercourse: Ten percent of men and twenty percent of women said lube allows for longer sex. 
  • Ending UTIs: One lady said she hadn’t had a single UTI since they started to use lube.
  • Makes Sex Possible: One man with partial ED said lube makes it much easier to penetrate.

If you’ve never tried lubes, or want to try something new, Covenant Spice has a great selection, including some 99¢ samples.

~ Paul – I’m XY and I think every couple should have some lube on hand.

Got Time for a Survey? Our new survey is How Do You Feel About Giving Oral? We’d appreciate you taking a few minutes to give us your anonymous opinion.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Ted September 23, 2016 at 4:48 am

My wife and are big fans of coconut oil ever since I read somewhere of the additional health benefits of using it as a lube. As for making one feel old , wifey does not generally need lube for us to have sex, it just makes it better for her, and we actually are older.


Paul Byerly September 23, 2016 at 7:54 am

@Ted – Coconut has been the top choice in every poll we’ve done.
I figure it’s like a bed – just because you could have sex on the ground is no reason to think using a bed is a problem!
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Jerry Stumpf September 23, 2016 at 9:12 am

It’s also fun to experiment with different types and flavors to add to the experience.
Jerry Stumpf recently posted…3 Intimate, Enchanting Components to Gently Nurture Your Marriage Bond  My Profile


Anonymous this time September 23, 2016 at 12:54 pm

My husband brought lubricant on our wedding night because I was afraid it would hurt. Well, please tell the gentlemen that there are more pleasing ways to apply this to your wife than taking a palm full and slapping it around down there. Two years and I still have not taught him to do better!


Paul Byerly September 23, 2016 at 2:59 pm

@Anonymous this time – Yeah, that’s not romantic or seductive.
You could show him how. Of course he would probably want you to repeat the lesson many times…
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Bobthemusicguy September 23, 2016 at 8:17 pm

Maybe you should apply it to him instead. I know I enjoy it (she takes her time applying it), and it gives us enough but not too much.


Paul Byerly September 24, 2016 at 10:25 am

@Bobthemusicguy – Great idea for intercourse. I assumed she was talking about application for foreplay, but I may have read something that was not there.
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