A while back we did a survey on the use of artificial lube. The full results are here, below is what I think most women need to know.
Let me start with a comment from one woman:
“It makes me so, so sad that we sometimes need to use lube. It makes me feel old. I guess I have the (hopefully) misconception that lube is just for older folks who need a little something extra.“
A couple other women made similar comments, and I know it’s a fairly common concern. I think porn is largely to blame for this. As with everything else in porn, a woman’s “wetness” is exaggerated. Also as is the norm for porn, what wetness means has been skewed from reality. I fear most men come from porn to sex with a real woman expecting a level of natural lubricant that’s physically impossible. Even worse, more and more women are buying into that false reality.
Let’s balance this with a comment from a woman who is between the ages of 25 and 34″
“I’ve always needed lube. I can count on one hand the amount of times I made enough lubrication for intercourse.“
Over the years I have learned, both from firsthand experience and from talking to many men and women, that the amount of lubrication a woman produces means nothing. Some women are barely wet enough for intercourse after a couple of orgasms while other women can be nearly soaked but still in need of foreplay. In general, some women lubricate far more than others, but it varies from time to time for every woman too. I had to learn 1) not to see wet as a signal to go ahead, and 2) not to see a lack of lubrication as a signal of a problem or a lack of interest. I’ve tried to teach other men these things, but it’s a hard sell due to the consistent lie of porn.
Please don’t think using artificial lube means anything bad about you. A tube/bottle of lube is a tool that can make sex much better. Among the advantages ascribed to use of lube in our survey were:
- Comfort: Two-thirds of the men and women in our survey said they use lube to reduce discomfort or pain.
- Increased Pleasure: Half of the women and a third of the men said the use of lube increased their pleasure during sex. Yes, lube makes it better for him too.
- More Likely to Orgasm: A third of women and seven percent of men said lube use increased the odds of them having an orgasm.
- Longer Intercourse: Ten percent of men and twenty percent of women said lube allows for longer sex.
- Ending UTIs: One lady said she hadn’t had a single UTI since they started to use lube.
- Makes Sex Possible: One man with partial ED said lube makes it much easier to penetrate.
~ Paul – I’m XY and I think every couple should have some lube on hand.
Got Time for a Survey? Our new survey is How Do You Feel About Giving Oral? We’d appreciate you taking a few minutes to give us your anonymous opinion.