If you can’t communicate what you think and feel to your husband, how can you expect him to understand you? If he doesn’t understand you, how can he support you, help you, or love you well?
Gender speak is a factor here, of course. Sometimes you say something in a way most women would understand and your husband looks at you like you’re speaking an unknown language. He can repeat the words you said, but he has no idea what you mean by those words. I understand how frustrating this must be, and I understand the temptation to blame him for not understanding what seems clear to you.
Of course, your husband should work to understand you, but I’m going to put most of the responsibility on you for this one. And not just because you want him to understand you. Women are better at understanding feelings, better at communicating, and better at empathy. How we’re raised is part of this, but much if it is about brain differences that come down to biology. The fact is you’re better equipped to span the gender gap. Think of it as being better at languages; you can learn to speak male more easily than he can learn to speak female. Of course, you can help him to learn to understand some female even if he never becomes fluent in it.
Sharing your feelings with your husband is going to take more effort than sharing them with your girlfriends. But it’s worth the effort both for you and for your marriage.
~ Paul – I’m XY, but I speak almost conversational female.
Related Article: Putting words to feelings – If You Don’t Know What You Mean, How Will Your Spouse? | Love and Respect