3 Ways an Apology Can Go Wrong

October 17, 2016

in Uncategorized

Apologies should be a common thing in a marriage. But not all apologies are helpful.

3 Ways an Apology Can Go Wrong

Three common ways an apology can go wrong:

Blame is dangerous even if what you say is valid. If you’re completely innocent pointing to the guilty party may be okay. If you have any wrong in a matter, owning your part is necessary and pointing at others looks like trying to excuse yourself.

Defending is usually being defensive in the worst possible way, and easily moves to arguing.

Explaining can be useful – especially when we manage to do it without blaming or defending. Explaining doesn’t cover wrong, but it can be a useful follow-up to admitting wrong. Please note the “follow-up” part; starting with explaining is not apologising.

~ Paul – I’m XY and if practice helps I should be very good at apologising! 

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Madeline12 October 17, 2016 at 1:30 pm

We have “No Apologies Allowed” rule because to us this does not solve the heart of the matter. We ask for and either do or do not receive forgiveness. If done is to angry to forgive from the heart, they say so and leave it open. The unforgiving person is then responsible to restore the relationship as soon as possible. Even though my youngest is 6, they understand this fine. And once something is forgiven, it us not brought up again unless there are still consequences to suffer through after which, it’s over.

We had too much lying through so-called apologies which were turning into patching up feelings instead of resolving the real conflict or offense.


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