How He Really Feels About Doing Oral

November 11, 2016

in Uncategorized

Recently I ran across an article on a secular blog that was ranting about men who wouldn’t perform oral sex on a woman. My first thought was “Maybe guys who pick you up just for sex aren’t the best sex partners”. My second thought was to wonder where this woman is finding so many men who aren’t into doing oral sex. My experience in talking with men is most are really into it. Not willing, they want to do it!

How He Really Feels About Doing Oral

A survey we did last month backs me up on this. We’ve had 635 men (and counting) chime in on this. Forty-two percent of the men indicated doing oral on their wife is a common part of their lovemaking, occurring from 40% of the time to all of the time. And based on the comments, many men would like it to happen more often. While some of this is done as foreplay, half of the men indicated it results in their wife having an orgasm the majority of the time they do it.

Here are some of the other encouraging results:

  • 70% of men enjoy doing oral sex on their wives for themselves.
  • 66% enjoy doing it because she enjoys it.
  • Of the 600+ men who answered, only one said he hated to do oral on his wife, and one other said he disliked it. 
  • 10% of men say doing oral on their wife makes them mildly horny, and 74% said it makes them very horny.
  • Almost half of men would do oral on their wife more often is she let them.
  • There were no real age-related variations in the findings. Half the men were 45 or older, and they’re just as into doing oral on their wife as the younger guys. 

I know one big concern women have about receiving oral sex is how they may smell/taste. We asked men about this in an earlier survey. Only 3.7% said they had any issue with it. On the other hand, 31% like that part of it, and 47% love that aspect.

Bottom Line: The vast majority of husbands really like doing oral on their wife. So relax and enjoy!

~ Paul – I’m XY, and anything I say here will get me in trouble!

Links may be monetised
Image Credit: © Studio Trebuchet | stock.adobe.com

Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
Where we’re going Contact us about speaking

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Libl November 11, 2016 at 4:15 am

Mine doesn’t and refuses to do it, even though he used to.

Reply

Paul Byerly November 11, 2016 at 8:42 am

@Libl – So sorry. And I suppose he won’t talk about why either?
Paul Byerly recently posted…Friday Flashback: Fear of IntimacyMy Profile

Reply

Anonymous on this one, please November 11, 2016 at 5:05 am

I give my husband OS at least three times a week, I enjoy it and it gives me time to get ready for PIV, but in 2 years of marriage he has only done that for me once. He said it took too long. Oh well. I get very little from our PIV. But I love my husband.

Reply

Libl November 11, 2016 at 5:38 am

I don’t get enough from PIV, either. My husband doesn’t like oral on him either, so at least we aren’t imbalanced there. He told me I take too long, too.

One thing you can do to enjoy PIV more is be on top and stimulate yourself. This works for us and I don’t feel the lack so keenly now.

Reply

anonymous on this one, please November 11, 2016 at 6:31 am

A guy who doesn’t like OS? Wow. I wonder that it doesn’t get old for my husband, but obviously not. (I like it when he tells me how lucky he is.)

Reply

Paul Byerly November 11, 2016 at 8:44 am

@Anonymous on this one, please – For some men “she takes too long” is code for “I feel stupid because I don’t know what to do”.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Friday Flashback: Fear of IntimacyMy Profile

Reply

Dan November 11, 2016 at 2:10 pm

It could be that she is taking too long. I don’t mean that out there somewhere is a research statistic of “15.7 minutes, on average, to clitoral orgasm by oral sex.” What I’m suggesting is that, for whatever reason, the men have an unrealistic expectation for how long it might take. Me, I don’t care how long it takes because I’m in it to win it. I enjoy doing it and find it both mentally calming and physically arousing. I enjoy it almost as much as she does. If I could get an orgasm from performing oral on my wife, I definitely enjoy it as much as she does.

We can’t ignore these possibilities though:
1) She is taking too long because she is basking in the focused attention and pleasure she is receiving and why shouldn’t she? I know if my wife would enjoy giving me oral for 20-40 minutes and I could last that long, I’d be taking my time too. I compare oral for either of us to an oral/genital massage and who ever wants a short massage when it feels so good?

2) Similar to your reason, Paul, he is not practicing effective technique but will not ask or take coaching OR She won’t direct his efforts for fear of him feeling inadequate.

3) What he is doing is effective but taking longer than he feels is right so he changes horses in mid-stream. Her arousal backs off when the stimulation changes and she has to start a process of rebuilding. This reset adds more time to the process so it only seem logical he should be trying something else and BAM! reset time once again. Now it IS taking longer and he is only compounding the problem by trying to do better.

4) She may need an additional something beyond the oral to push her over the edge when she gets close to the tipping point. It may be inserting something at the same time, tweaking a nipple, or giving her an enthusiastic growl.

It come down to him paying attention to her body and her helping him to know what works best for her. Yes, you may have to speak it but we’re quick learners with a little persistence on your part. A tip: caring husbands find it exciting when you tell us exactly what you want. Our feelings aren’t hurt in the least.
Dan recently posted…Believing in Fairies Isn’t Always EnoughMy Profile

Reply

Paul Byerly November 11, 2016 at 4:34 pm

@Dan – A couple of other possible reasons:

1) She is self-conscious about him having his face there, which makes it difficult to relax.

2) She knows or thinks he has her on the clock, which interferes with her ability to relax
Paul Byerly recently posted…Friday Flashback: Fear of IntimacyMy Profile

Reply

Dan November 13, 2016 at 5:37 am

As to 2), there is truth to that for sure. I can remember hearing the remark, “I was always afraid I was taking too long.” There are times now when sex is all about either of us. That’s to say the pleasure of the other is the sole focus. That’s not to say to “doer” isn’t having a pleasurable experience, only that the orgasm of the “doee” is the focus. When that is the case, we always preface the time spent by telling the other, “This will be all about you. Take your time. I will be too.”
Dan recently posted…Believing in Fairies Isn’t Always EnoughMy Profile

Reply

Paul Byerly November 13, 2016 at 8:51 am

@Dan – Being released from time pressure is a wonderful thing. Sadly movies and the like add to it.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Generosity: It’s Really A Big DealMy Profile

Reply

Libl November 11, 2016 at 5:28 pm

Hubby says I take too long. Little did he know that throughout the years I timed myself (advantage of seeing the clock when laying on my back) and I took anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes. I did tell him this, but he refused to hear it. It felt longer to him.

I am getting to the point where it is more of a matter of fact rather than a venting point when I mention it on here. We have settled into a sex routine that gives us both regular climaxes.

I do wonder why it stopped abruptly 8 years into marriage. He just quit and got very mad when I brought it up 3 years (and no orgasm for me for those 3 years) later. Basically, the most I can get out of him is that he never liked it. I take too long, and I am not good at giving him oral. Ouch! I told him I was teachable, but he just said to forget it. It took 2 years after that before he started being attentive to me in bed again. I wish I knew his heart and thoughts better.

All I can say is that heart-wrenching period of our marriage grew me in ways I never thought of.

Reply

Paul Byerly November 12, 2016 at 7:53 am

@Libl – At 5-20 minutes you are on the faster end of normal.
His changes, both of them, are indeed odd. I would guess they have little to do with you and possibly little to do with sex. I’m sorry for all the pain, but I’m glad you have found something that works and for your growth.
Paul Byerly recently posted…Have Some Slow, Easy, Mind-blowing SexMy Profile

Reply

Stephen Howe November 12, 2016 at 5:16 pm

On the secular article, I’m guessing she’s in to the “pickup” culture. I’d figure guys wouldn’t want to because they’re worried about disease in that case. Not in issue in a monogamous marriage, but I’d figure that’s why. Plus if there’s no long term commitment to each other, they might just not care about her. For him it would be to get his release & have fun, I’m guessing like her. While I like OS on my wife, it’s more about blowing her mind vs me getting excited.

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: