I recently posted the results of a survey we did on the importance of sex positions. Two of the top findings were that choice of position is more important to women than men, and men are much more concerned with variety.
There are basic biologic differences behind this. While men can climax in just about any position that allows them to thrust, women get decent stimulation from a much smaller set of positions. Even if a woman doesn’t climax from intercourse, some positions don’t even provide enough stimulation to keep her aroused. Secondly, his bits are tougher than your bits, and what he finds fun can leave you sore the next day. Or worse, it can lead to a UTI or a yeast infection. Let’s be honest, his pleasure isn’t worth days of burning!
I’ll be explaining these realities to the men of The Generous Husband tomorrow, and I will be suggesting to them they should give their wife cart blanc to choose the position for sex. Let her choose what won’t hurt her and what gives her the most pleasure. I’m recommending the same to you, but with one addition: be sure to give him some variety.
Virtually all men crave sexual variety, and that includes position. I don’t know why this is such a common male desire, but I think it’s a valid, healthy desire and as such should be met as well as is reasonably possible. A few thoughts to help:
- You shouldn’t have to suffer pain for him. A bit of discomfort is okay if it’s your choice, but sex shouldn’t hurt during or after.
- If he really likes a position that makes you sore if you do it too long, consider getting him very close by hand or mouth and then letting him finish in the problem position.
- Lube is your friend – especially when you fit yourselves together in an unusual way.
- If you’ve already climaxed the amount of stimulation a position provides for you is unimportant. Additionally, your genitals will be less likely get sore. So ask him to take care of you by hand, mouth, or in some other position, then let him finish in the position of his choice.
- If he stays firm after he climaxes, start in the position of his choice and them move to what works for you after he climaxes.
- If you have multiples it’s possible you will be able to have another orgasm from a position that won’t get you there for the first one.
- If he’s horny and you’re not, invite him to do it his way for his pleasure.
- Woman on top was the favourite position for most men, with 89% saying they love or like it. Women are less into this position, but it’s the position most likely to give a woman an orgasm. If this is not part of your sex life, consider adding it. If you feel exposed or awkward in this position tell him you will be on top if he turns out the lights.
- Adding a vibrator can make an otherwise non-orgasmic position orgasmic for you. You can get vibrators that attach to his penis, or your vulva, or put a vibe between your bodies in face to face positions.
- Some men think the ultimate is several positions for one sex act. Try it, and if he raves about it, do it for him every so often.
~ Paul – I’m XY and my wife gave me a yeast infection once, so I feel your pain!
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