In the last week, I have seen several articles mentioning the importance of a wife’s happiness to the success of a marriage. It’s long been believed that the wife’s happiness is more critical to the success of a marriage than the husband’s happiness, and a growing number of studies supports this idea. Given this, a wise man should be all about his wife’s happiness. In fact, the Bible tells us this:

“If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.” [Deut 24:5 NIV]

There is good reason to think “happy” in that verse includes a sexual component, but it is much bigger than that. A husband is to take a whole year to learn how to make his wife happy!

Does that mean that your happiness depends on your husband? Yes and no. His actions and choices have a big impact on you, and how you feel. He can greatly contribute to your being happy, or he can make your life miserable. However, you have choices as well. You could be unhappy even if he were doing everything a wife could want, and you can be happy even if he is horrible.

Much of this is about marriage appropriate boundaries. If your husband is loving, generous, and caring, you can be very open with him. If your husband is careless, cold, or mean, you will need to be more closed to keep him from hurting you too deeply. (If this is an issue for you, I strongly suggest Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud and Townsend.)

J, over at Hot, Holy & Humorous had a great post about choosing to be happy – Give Him the Gift of Happiness.

~ Paul – I’m XY, choice is a powerful thing

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