A few excerpt from the What Your Husband Wants You to Know survey:

• It seems to me women just do not understand…
• …understanding the impact it may create on the husband 
• I wish I could get you to understand…
• I wish you fully understood…
• Man’s need for understanding and respect…
• I don’t think she understands…
• …giving up hope that she will understand me…
• You need to understand…
• It seems to me women just do not understand…
• We want them to clearly understand…
• I wish you understood…
• Understand that…

These men are crying out to be understood. Others sent the same message without using the “U” word. I hear the same when I talk to friends and from other men via e-mail. Men do not feel understood by their wives. More than that, they feel misunderstood, and often they feel judged based on those misunderstandings. 

I realise many women do not feel their husband understands them, but most men know they do not understand their wife. I do not get the feeling wives are generally aware how poorly they understand their husband. This post is thus along the lines of “admitting the problem is the first step to fixing it”. Telling him you realise you do not understand him will make him feel better, and it could give him some hope.

Open the door for him to share what he thinks you misunderstand, and listen as he tries to help you know him better. Communicating across gender lines can be difficult and frustrating, but just making the effort will cause him to feel loved. Another good choice would be to stop accepting what the media and your friends say about men as absolute truth. Even when stereotypes are based on truth, they usually flawed.

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