Why He’s Like that with the Kids
How does the image below make you feel? Does it make you worry just a bit about the safety of the boy?
Fathers play with their kids differently than mothers do. This is true for both sons and daughters. Neither how you play with them nor how he does is better. In truth, they need both. A child with two mothers or two fathers does not get all the variety of input needed to become a healthy, well-adjusted person.
In our modern society, this is especially true for boys. Boys who grow up without a father, or with a withdrawn father, have problems. Boys raised without a strong father are more likely to commit suicide, get into drugs, drop out of school, and end up in jail. Boys without fathers are far more likely to get into a gang, and a big part of this is looking for men to show them how to become men. Women cannot help boys become men – only men can do it. A strong father helps a boy become a man.
Of course, you also have a part to play in the lives of your sons. However, as they reach puberty you need to back away and let your husband take more of the lead. Your son needs to learn many things, including respect, from a man. Your son will want to test himself, and you will probably worry about how he chooses to do that. Your husband will have a much better feel for this, and will be better at providing reasonable limits. Your natural desire to protect your son can actually hurt him. If you always agree with your husband on how to raise you son something is probably wrong!
Your daughter also needs her father’s input as she enters puberty. It is common for mother and daughter to have problems with each other in the teen years, and your husband can offer some clarity if you let him. Then there is his desire to scare away every boy she likes. He understands how teenage boys think (usually not with their brain) and he is protecting your daughter from things you do not even imagine. He probably has better radar about boys than you do, so trust him. God put him here to protect your daughter, so let him do it. She will not appreciate it now, but in the future, she will be most thankful.