Men, like women, are wounded. We are all messed up long before we get to marriage, and those injuries usually hurt our spouses. We all want to get rid of the pain caused by those injuries, and as such, we want healing for our spouses and ourselves. They are messed up, and we want them fixed.
I do not think it is our job to fix our spouse. From what I read, fixing people is God’s job, and trying to take over God’s job is probably a very bad idea. That does not mean we play no part in our spouse growing up. We can and should encourage, challenge, and support. We can point out blind spots, and offer perspective.
The tricky part is being seen as helping rather than invading. A part of it is why we want our spouse to change. Is it because we want the best for them, or is it about our own desires? There are times to speak up about what we need from our spouse, but we should be primarily motivated by want what is best for them.
Much of the growth I see in men comes from interacting with other men. Because men and women are so different, a man is better able to understand and help another man. (The same is true for women.) A man knows when to push and how to challenge another man. Excuses and covering up are less likely to work with other men.
Additionally it is much easier to open up to another man. Many men find it difficult to be vulnerable with their wife. We want to be strong and steadfast with you, and exposing our deep wounds seems contrary to that. While I think this is an issue men need to deal with, pushing him on this will likely backfire. As with all places he needs growth, pray more than you speak!