Recently I ran across an image of a couple with these words over it:

“Sometimes, I push you away because I need you to pull me closer.”

I hit Google with the phrase and found it, and minor variations, on thousands of sites. Apparently, plenty of women feel this way, at least on occasion.

Being a guy, I found this a confusing message. How do I know when pushing away means pull me closer, and when it means go away? If I get it wrong either way, it ends badly for me; I can’t win.

Men feel this way often in their dealings with the woman they love. Unless we’re lying, we say what we mean. It seems some women have a third mode where they say something to get a reaction the opposite of what they ask for. It’s not lying; it is giving the other person a chance to come to their rescue.

Another version of this is arguing a compliment. He says “You look great” and she tells him all the reasons she looks horrible today. He’s supposed to then reassure and affirm her. Other women are likely to enter into this, men not so much. Most men just make a mental note to avoid giving her compliments so as not to start an argument.

The hard-core versions of these things are most common in teenage girls, but vestiges remain in some women well past their teens. Think about it a bit, do you do this to your husband? Maybe you did it in the past, and he has changed his behaviour because of it. Thing, pray, and confess/discuss as necessary.

~ Paul – I’m XY and this stuff hurts my brain.

Image Credit: © Voyagerix| stock.adobe.com
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