Why Is Sex So Important to Him?

Q. Why is sex so important to him?

A. Because God made him that way.

Q&A © Stuart Miles | freedigitalphotos.net

Honestly, that’s the bottom line. God created him with a strong sex drive, and when he married you his drive was tied to you. Society has been trying to rewrite male sexuality for years, but changing what we say does not change what God put in men.

Our friend Chris over at The Forgiven Wife recently wrote a wonderful post along these lines. I hope you will all take the time to read Dear Sister, and pray about how God might be speaking to you through her words.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I sometimes wish God had given me less of a sex drive.

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9 Comments on “Why Is Sex So Important to Him?

  1. It is amazing that the same wondrous act or series of lovely actions, can be so misunderstood by a husband and a wife.

    Thank you Paul for directing us to read the post be Chris at The Forgiven Wife. It is very touching.
    Jerry Stumpf recently posted…Why I Write – Blog TourMy Profile

  2. I’m so glad you wrote this post, Paul. I have known far too many women–including me–who have viewed men’s sex drive as a perversion rather than as part of God’s design for connecting us with our husbands.

    Thanks for inviting your readers to my blog. I pray that it touches hearts.
    Chris recently posted…Postcard from SheSpeaksMy Profile

  3. Sometimes the question is, why ISN’T sex important to him. And I (the wife) am the one who feels like my sexual desire for my husband is a perversion. Other wives don’t want it that much, why do I?

    And I know I’m in the minority, but lower drive wives make us higher drive wives feel like there is something dreadfully wrong with us. Low drive wives make me feel like they think “we’re hot and you’re not!” “Our husbands won’t leave us alone because we’re so desirable” seems to be their mantra. It makes a higher drive wife like me feel like a big LOSER.

    I get it that they probably don’t see it that way at all, I mean, I doubt they are intentionally making me feel that way. But seriously, ladies, if your husband desires you, it is a BLESSING. There are some women who would love to be so desired by their husbands.

    • You are in the minority, but the group is growing. Best estimates are 20%-25% of wives want more sex than their husbands are willing to provide. There is no good data on this until recently, but all indications are it is a growing problem.

      Part of this is more women who are in touch with their sexuality. Some want more, others are just willing to say they want more.

      The other side is a lessening of male desire for sex with a woman. I phrase it this way because some men are all about porn and masturbation, but not about sex with their wife. This is not the only issue, but it is a common one. Stress and tiredness are other huge sex drive killers for men.

      Some are saying these “low drive men” are doing what is normal for them, and they should be left alone. I disagree. Even if it is normal for them, which I question, they made a commitment when they got married. Just as I tell women they should take care of their husband’s sexually, I tell men they have the same responsibility.

      Paul Byerly recently posted…Sometimes It’s Not You, It’s HerMy Profile

  4. Thanks for the suggestion Paul. I have been too busy to keep up with my reading and had missed this one. Chris always write an excellent post. I mailed the link to a commenter after I finished reading it. When I do an appropriate post or can reedit an old one I’ll link to it too.
    Dan recently posted…The Normal Bar © and Love Gone Astray-ingMy Profile

  5. I sometimes wish God had given me less of a sex drive! ?!?

    I am thinking there is a typo there somewhere!

    • I wondered if anyone would comment on that!

      When I wanted far, far more than she wanted, my drive was an annoyance to both of us. Even when things got better, there were times I was dead tired when I would have liked to just go to sleep, but I knew without having sex, sleep would be difficult.

      One of the great things about getting a bit older is I can still enjoy sex, but if life gets in the way occasionally it is not a big deal.
      Paul Byerly recently posted…Sometimes It’s Her: Sexual ProblemsMy Profile

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