Navigating Age-Related Changes in Male Sexuality

Age changes most things. Some changes are for the better, some not so much. Some are a mixed bag. 

You probably have some first-hand understanding of how age changes your sexuality, but what about his sexuality? There are plenty of changes between his legs, and between his ears, as the years go by. Because men are less given to discussing such things with friends, he may not know what is normal. He may be secretly worried something is wrong, and his fears can interfere with your sex life. The good news is the changes need not cause problems, especially if you both know what to expect.

An older couple in bed moving towards sex. 

Below are some common male age related sexual changes. I am not giving ages for these because the age at which a man experiences sexual changes varies a great deal.

Erections:

  • Ease – Young men get erections just thinking about asking for sex. As a man ages, it takes more to get him erect. Most men reach a place where some manual stimulation is necessary to become firm enough for intercourse.
  • Up, down, up… – When a man is young, erections tend to keep going till sex is over. With age, erections wax and wane during foreplay, and to some degree during intercourse.
  • Hardness – He may occasionally get as full and firm as was common in years gone by, but for the most part his erections are a bit less hard. As long as intercourse is possible, less firm is no big deal. If intercourse becomes difficult or impossible, he needs to see a doctor.
  • The Morning Salute – Morning erections happen when a man wakes from a dream, as all dreams cause erections. Morning erections are usually the fullest, firmest a man has. Men have fewer morning erections as they age because we dream less as we get older. Fewer is fine, but not having any is a problem he needs to discuss with a doctor. If he has good, solid morning erections, he is physically up for sex. 

Repeat Performances:  

  • Down Time – The refractory period is the time after ejaculation during which a man can’t ejaculate again. In the teens, this is as low as a few minutes. In the 20s, it may be well under an hour. With each decade, the refractory period gets longer. In some men, it goes beyond a full day. Please note, he may be able to get an erection during this time. Some elderly men learn to ejaculate every other time they have sex, allowing them to have frequent sex despite a long refractory period.  
  • Lack of Up Time – He will lose erections more rapidly after climax, and it will be longer before he can get another. 

Nerves Get Old Too:

  • Feeling Less -With age, the sensitivity of the penis declines somewhat.
  • Going Longer – He may need more stimulation to reach climax – faster, longer, or both.
  • Needing more – He may want stronger stimulation during oral and manual sex.

Climax Changes:

  • Still Nice… – The intensity of orgasm will lessen. It remains very good, but it is a bit less.
  • Weaker – The strength of his ejaculation will lessen. This is one of the first changes most men notice.
  • Less Mess – The amount of semen is reduced.

No Longer His Only Thought:

  • A Bit Slower – His sex drive will lessen as he gets older. How much and when varies a great deal – some 50-year-old men have more drive than most men half their age.
  • 23/6 – He will think about sex less often. (But probably still far more often than you do.)
  • Or Tomorrow – His need for release is less demanding. He finds it easier to put sex off because doing so is less of a problem for him.
  • What Was I Doing? – Distractions or interruptions can kill the mood for him – something younger men rarely experience. Even if he is still interested, his erection will likely need to be resuscitated.
  • Kind of Nice – Many men enjoy being less preoccupied with sex. It allows them to do more, and to show their wife love in more ways.

Not Just Any Time

  • It’s Late… – Sex last thing at night may become problematic for him. Energy levels and sex drive can both be low at the end of the day.
  • Start the Day off Right – Morning erections make sex on waking a good choice, if it works for her.
  • Afternoon Delight – Afternoon sex is also a great option.

 The Best is Yet to Be

  • Sexy 60 – Many studies, including a survey we did, find many older men and women say they are having great sex. Many retirement age couples say they are having the best sex of their lives.
  • Better Matched – Your drives will likely be more matched as you both grow older. 

~ Paul – I’m XY, and sixty-something sex beats “young sex” in so many ways.

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
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