Why Does He Always Want to Know Where I Am?

Does your husband want to know where you are at all times? Does it feel a bit invasive, as if he is monitoring you?

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Consider the following:

“Some individuals in long-term marriages report intensities of romantic love comparable to individuals newly in love. How common is this? Are correlates of long-term romantic love consistent with theoretical models of love? In a random sample of 274 U.S. married individuals, 40% of those married over 10 years reported being “Very intensely in love.” … Wanting to know where the partner is at all times correlated significantly with intense love for men but not women. [From the abstract for Is Long-Term Love More Than A Rare Phenomenon? If So, What Are Its Correlates? Emphasis mine]

Apparently, this is a normal male thing, and is especially strong in men who love their wives deeply. Further, women do not feel the same way – a clear gender difference.

I do realise there is a creepy, controlling version of this, but that’s not what we are talking about. If your husband is neither abusive nor controlling, his wanting to know where you are comes from his love for you.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and now I feel less guilty about wanting to know where my wife is!

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